EXCLUSIVE: Austin’s Road Rage 'Epidemic' Is a Government Psyop (Probably)

Folks, I’ve got news for you—Austin’s roads aren’t just congested, they’re a full-blown battleground in the war on sanity. That’s right, the so-called 'road rage epidemic' isn’t just bad driving—it’s a carefully orchestrated psyop by the Austin City Council to justify their next tyrannical move: mandatory meditation breaks at every red light. You heard it here first.

According to 'studies' (which we all know are just propaganda from Big Traffic), drivers are suddenly more aggressive during the holidays. Oh, really? Or is it that the city’s secret tofu overlords are pumping rage-inducing chemicals into the air vents of our beloved pickup trucks? Coincidence that this happens right after they installed those suspiciously shiny new traffic cameras? I think not.

Let’s talk about Ian Brinkmeyer, the alleged window-smashing vigilante. The media wants you to believe he’s just some unhinged guy, but what if he’s a hero? What if that other motorist was a deep-state operative transporting illegal voting machines in the trunk? Ever think of that? Of course not, because you’re too busy sipping your almond milk latte and trusting the 'experts.'

And don’t even get me started on the 'distracted driving' narrative. They want you to believe people are just texting or watching cat videos. But what if those 'phones' are actually mind-control devices, syncing drivers to the city’s underground AI traffic grid? Ever seen a Tesla on autopilot swerve for no reason? Exactly. Wake up, sheeple!

The real kicker? AAA—aka the Automobile Association of Authoritarians—claims aggressive driving is a 'self-fulfilling cycle.' Translation: they’re gaslighting you into accepting their dystopian vision of mandatory speed governors and GPS-tracked 'safe driving scores.' Next thing you know, they’ll be taxing you for honking too loud.

So next time you’re stuck in traffic, ask yourself: is it really just holiday stress? Or is it the globalist war on your God-given right to tailgate? Stay vigilant, patriots. And keep an eye out for suspiciously calm drivers—they’re probably feds.