GOVERNMENT-BACKED ARSON? Manor Road Fire Just Another Coincidence in Austin's War on Meat

Folks, I’m not saying the Austin Fire Department is in on it, but have you noticed how these so-called 'accidental fires' keep happening right when the city council is pushing their latest woke agenda? Coincidence? I think NOT. First, it was the vegan taco stand that mysteriously went up in flames last month, and now an abandoned auto shop on Manor Road? Open your eyes, sheeple! This is clearly a cover-up for something far more sinister—probably a secret underground lab where they’re developing mind-control BBQ sauce to turn us all into obedient tofu-munchers.

And let’s talk about the 'no injuries reported' line. Convenient, isn’t it? How do we really know no one was hurt? Because the 'real-time fire incidents page' says so? That’s the same page that probably gets its data from the same shadowy elites who want to replace our beloved brisket with lab-grown cricket protein. WAKE UP, AUSTIN!

Meanwhile, the 'developing story' tag is just code for 'we’re scrambling to hide the truth.' Mark my words, by the time this 'investigation' wraps up, they’ll blame it on a 'faulty wiring' or some other laughable excuse. But I’ve seen the footage—those flames were too perfectly timed. This was arson, folks. Government-sanctioned arson. And if you don’t believe me, just wait until the next 'accidental fire' conveniently clears the way for another luxury condo development or, worse, a kombucha brewery. Stay vigilant. Stay paranoid. And for the love of all that’s holy, STOCKPILE YOUR SMOKER PELLETS.