Space Heater 'Safety' Tips: Just Another Deep State Plot to Freeze You Into Submission

Oh, great. Another totally unbiased article from the so-called 'experts' telling us how to live our lives. 'Space heater safety tips'? More like government-mandated temperature control disguised as helpful advice. Wake up, sheeple! This is just another ploy by Big Thermostat to keep us dependent on their overpriced, 'energy-efficient' scams while they rake in the profits.

Let’s break this down, shall we? The article claims space heaters are dangerous—allegedly responsible for 74% of fire-related deaths. But have you ever stopped to ask who benefits from this fear-mongering? That’s right—Big Fire Extinguisher! They’ve been pushing this narrative for years, and now they’ve got the mainstream media doing their dirty work. Coincidence? I think not.

And don’t even get me started on the 'automatic shut-off' feature. You really think that’s for your safety? No, my friends, that’s a tracking device. Every time your heater 'conveniently' turns itself off, it’s sending data straight to the Deep State’s climate control database. They’re monitoring your heat usage, your movements, probably even your thoughts about whether or not to rebel against their oppressive 'safety guidelines.'

Then there’s the whole 'don’t use extension cords' nonsense. Oh, so now we’re supposed to believe that a simple power strip—something that’s been powering our gaming consoles and mini-fridges for decades—is suddenly a fire hazard? Give me a break. This is clearly a move by Big Outlet to force us into expensive home rewiring projects. Next thing you know, they’ll be telling us we can’t plug in our toasters without a government permit.

And let’s talk about the real agenda here: They don’t want you to be warm. Why? Because a cold population is a compliant population. If you’re shivering under three blankets, you’re not out there questioning why your energy bill tripled overnight or why the city council keeps approving solar farms instead of real Texan solutions, like coal-powered space heaters.

So go ahead, Austin. Follow their 'safety tips.' Let them dictate how you stay warm while they sip their soy lattes in their centrally heated offices. But remember—every time you unplug your heater 'for safety,' you’re playing right into their hands. Stay vigilant. Stay warm. And for the love of freedom, never let them take your right to dangerously overheat your living room.