Flags Stay High for 'Robin Hood' Republican—Because Texas Hates Sharing (Even in Death)

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, the Texas Capitol flags remained at full staff this week—despite the passing of former Lt. Gov. Bill Ratliff, the so-called 'father of Robin Hood.' That’s right, folks. The man who dared to suggest that rich school districts share a few crumbs with the poor ones didn’t even get the honor of a half-mast salute. Coincidence? Or is this yet another deep-state plot to erase the legacy of a man who threatened the sacred Texan tradition of hoarding wealth like a squirrel with a nut allergy?

Let’s break it down. Ratliff, a man so powerful they called him 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' (probably because he used Jedi mind tricks to convince Republicans to vote for a hate crimes bill), was unceremoniously denied the flag-lowering treatment reserved for other 'esteemed' public servants. Meanwhile, Gov. Greg Abbott had no problem lowering the flags for a conservative activist from Arizona—because nothing says 'Texas pride' like mourning an out-of-state political grifter.

And let’s not forget Ratliff’s greatest crime: crafting the 'Robin Hood' school finance plan. That’s right, he forced wealthy districts to gasp share their property tax revenue with poorer schools. The horror! Next thing you know, they’ll be redistributing barbecue brisket. This is clearly why the establishment wanted him gone—first they forced him out of office, and now they’re denying him the flag treatment. Wake up, sheeple!

But here’s the real kicker: Ratliff was a Republican who actually governed instead of just screaming about border walls and woke indoctrination. He worked across the aisle, voted for a hate crimes bill (gasp!), and—worst of all—he didn’t even try to overturn an election. No wonder the modern GOP wants to memory-hole him.

So, while the flags stay high, let’s pour one out for Bill Ratliff—the last Republican who wasn’t afraid to be slightly less terrible than the rest. Rest in power, Obi-Wan. The dark side won this round.