Winter Prep or Globalist Plot? The Truth Behind Austin’s 'Freeze Fear' Campaign

Winter is coming, folks—or so the so-called 'experts' want you to believe. But let’s be real: this is just another ploy by the Austin City Council and their tofu-loving overlords to keep you in a state of perpetual fear. That’s right, the same people who want to ban gas stoves and force you to compost your bacon grease are now telling you to 'prepare' for a freeze. Wake up, sheeple! This isn’t about safety—it’s about control.

First, they want you to 'check your pipes.' Oh, sure, because the last time we trusted the government to handle pipes, we got Flint, Michigan. And now they’re telling you to 'locate your water shutoff valves'? Classic misdirection. What they’re not telling you is that Big Plumbing is in cahoots with the deep state to install smart meters in your toilets. Next thing you know, they’ll be tracking your flushes. Mark my words.

Then there’s the heater nonsense. 'Make sure it’s working properly,' they say. Translation: 'Submit to mandatory HVAC inspections by unaccountable bureaucrats.' And don’t even get me started on 'thermal curtains.' That’s just code for 'surveillance drapes'—probably lined with 5G receptors to beam woke propaganda straight into your living room.

But the real kicker? The 'emergency plan.' Oh, you mean the one where they want you to abandon your home and flee to a FEMA camp disguised as your aunt’s house? Nice try, globalists. I’ve seen this movie before. First, it’s 'just in case of emergencies,' and next thing you know, you’re eating cricket protein bars in a converted Walmart while Klaus Schwab personally adjusts your thermostat.

And homeowners, you’re not safe either. 'Salt your driveways,' they say. But did you know that the salt industry is run by the same people who brought you daylight saving time? Coincidence? I think not. And 'insurance assessments'? Please. That’s just a fancy way of saying 'give more money to the same corporations that will deny your claim when your pipes burst anyway.'

So here’s my advice: ignore the fearmongering. Stock up on ammo, not blankets. Wrap your pipes in tinfoil (it blocks the mind-control waves). And if your heater breaks, just burn a pile of old IRS forms—it’s what the founding fathers would’ve wanted. Stay vigilant, patriots. The only freeze you need to worry about is the one they’re trying to put on your freedoms.