WOKE AUSTIN SUSPENDS COP FOR ARRESTING TOO WELL—WHAT’S NEXT, TICKETS FOR ‘OVER-PATRIOTISM’?

Folks, it’s happening again—another brave officer of the law has been CANCELED by the woke mob running Austin’s police department. Officer Joseph Spees, an 11-year veteran who’s probably stopped more drunk idiots than you’ve had hot meals, has been indefinitely suspended for the heinous crime of… checks notes… arresting someone too hard.

That’s right, folks. In the dystopian nightmare that is Austin, Texas (soon to be renamed Tofu Town by our city council overlords), cops are now expected to gently tuck intoxicated, belligerent suspects into bed with a warm cup of chamomile tea instead of, you know, doing their jobs.

According to the so-called ‘police memo,’ Spees responded to a call about a barefoot, drunk woman causing a scene at the Marriott. She was slurring her words, probably reciting Marxist poetry, and when she suddenly bent down to grab something off the ground (likely a secret Antifa communicator), Spees did what any sane person would do—he took her down like a WWE wrestler.

But no! The memo claims this was excessive force because her head made a thud when it hit the pavement. Oh, the horror! Since when did pavement become a safe space? Back in my day, if you got arrested, you earned your bruises. Now, the Austin PD is more concerned with coddling criminals than protecting the thin blue line.

And get this—the woman was handcuffed when Spees allegedly ‘forcefully’ put her in the patrol car. Let me ask you this: if she was so harmless, why did she escape the cuffs? That’s right—she’s clearly a ninja-trained anarchist, but Chief Lisa Davis wants us to believe she was just a poor, innocent drunk who needed a hug.

Of course, the memo conveniently leaves out the real story. Where’s the footage of her screaming ‘Death to America’? Where’s the proof she wasn’t a deep state operative sent to test our officers’ resolve? Nowhere, because the mainstream media is too busy painting Spees as the villain instead of the last line of defense between us and total anarchy.

And let’s talk about Chief Davis. She claims Spees ‘lacked accountability’—but what about her accountability? How many times has she let actual criminals walk free while throwing good cops under the bus? This is what happens when you let bureaucrats run law enforcement. Next thing you know, they’ll be issuing citations for ‘excessive patriotism.’

So here’s the truth, folks: Officer Spees was set up. The deep state wants cops afraid to do their jobs so they can replace them with UN peacekeepers (you heard it here first). And if you think this suspension is about ‘police reform,’ you’re drinking the same Kool-Aid as the Austin City Council. Wake up, people—before it’s too late.

This has been your daily dose of reality. Stay vigilant.