EXCLUSIVE: Football Players' 'Charity' Visit Just a Smokescreen for 5G Baby Surveillance

In a shocking turn of events that has left skeptics like myself questioning everything, the so-called 'Texas Longhorns football players' allegedly visited a hospital last week to 'spread holiday cheer.' Folks, I’m not buying it. This reeks of a carefully orchestrated PR stunt by the Big Hospital Industrial Complex to distract us from the real issues—like why St. David’s North Austin Medical Center is hoarding all the Texas Longhorn onesies instead of distributing them to the true patriots of this state.

Let’s break this down. Arch Manning and his 'teammates' supposedly waltzed into the NICU, handing out onesies like some kind of baby-wrapping Santa Claus. But have you ever seen a college football player change a diaper? I didn’t think so. This is clearly a cover-up for something far more sinister. My sources—who may or may not be my neighbor’s dog—whispered that these 'gifts' are actually embedded with 5G microchips to track the newborns. Coincidence that the onesies are burnt orange? I think not.

And don’t even get me started on the 'care packages' for pediatric patients. What’s really in those boxes, Denise Bradley? Are we just supposed to take your word for it? I’ve seen enough movies to know that 'care packages' in hospitals are usually just a Trojan horse for Big Pharma to push their experimental treatments on unsuspecting kids.

But the most damning evidence? The timing. This 'heartwarming' visit conveniently happened right before the holidays, when the media is too busy gorging on eggnog to ask the hard questions. Wake up, sheeple! This isn’t about holiday cheer—it’s about indoctrinating our youth into the cult of collegiate athletics while the hospital-industrial complex laughs all the way to the bank.

Next time you see a feel-good story about football players 'visiting' hospitals, ask yourself: Who’s really benefiting? The kids? Or the shadowy elites who want us distracted while they replace our Thanksgiving turkeys with lab-grown tofu? The truth is out there. Stay vigilant.