Texas' 2026 Laws Exposed: Globalist Plot or Just More Government Nonsense?

Oh, great. Another year, another batch of "laws" from our so-called "elected officials"—if you can even call them that. Folks, wake up! These new Texas laws taking effect in 2026 are just another Trojan horse for the globalist agenda. Let’s break it down before they start microchipping us through our brisket.

First up, House Bill 9, which supposedly "helps businesses" by exempting more of their inventory from taxes. Sounds nice, right? Wrong. This is just a smokescreen to distract you from the real issue: the deep state is using your hard-earned tax dollars to fund their underground tofu farms. Mark my words, by 2027, every Whataburger will be replaced by a vegan smoothie bar. Coincidence? I think not.

Then there’s Senate Bill 8, forcing sheriffs to cozy up with ICE. Now, I’m all for law and order, but this reeks of a setup. Why? Because the same elites pushing this bill are the ones who’ll use it to round up patriots who ask too many questions. Next thing you know, your local PTA meeting will be raided because someone mentioned "sovereign citizen" in the group chat. And those grants for counties? That’s just hush money to keep sheriffs from blowing the whistle on the lizard people running Austin.

But the real kicker is Senate Bill 38, the "Faster Evictions for Squatters" act. On the surface, it sounds reasonable—kick out the freeloaders, right? But dig deeper, and you’ll see the truth: this is phase one of the Great Texas Land Grab. The globalists want your property, and they’ll use this law to boot you out faster than you can say "eminent domain." And banning the governor from pausing evictions during emergencies? That’s because they’re planning another "pandemic" to justify seizing your homestead. Wake up, sheeple! Your backyard bunker won’t save you when the black helicopters come.

So there you have it, folks. These "laws" aren’t about helping Texans—they’re about tightening the noose. Stay vigilant, stock up on ammo, and for the love of all that’s holy, keep an eye on your barbecue pits. The elites are coming for them next.