Mystery Seeds from China? More Like the Deep State's Botanical Warfare on Texas

Folks, it's happening again. The globalist elites are at it, and this time, they're coming for your gardens. That's right—unsolicited mystery seeds are showing up in mailboxes across Texas, and Commissioner Sid Miller wants you to believe it's just a 'brushing scam.' Wake up, sheeple! This is clearly Phase One of the Great Tofu Takeover.

Let's break it down. These seeds—allegedly from China—are being sent to unsuspecting Texans. Why? Because the deep state knows we love our barbecue, our cattle, and our freedom. They can't just ban beef outright (yet), so they're resorting to biological warfare. These 'mystery seeds' are probably genetically modified to grow into invasive, carnivorous plants that only eat Whataburger and brisket. Coincidence? I think not.

And don't even get me started on the 'unknown liquid' included in some packages. That's not fertilizer—it's mind-control serum. One whiff, and suddenly you'll be voting for higher taxes and asking for oat milk in your coffee. Mark my words, this is how they get you.

Miller claims they're 'testing' the seeds. Sure, Sid. And I'm sure the results will conveniently be released right after the next full moon, when the chemtrails are at their peak effectiveness. The truth? These seeds are probably laced with 5G nanobots designed to turn your backyard into a surveillance grid. Ever notice how your tomatoes start glowing at night? Exactly.

So what's the solution? First, don't trust the government's 'safe disposal' instructions. They just want to confiscate the evidence. Instead, mail the seeds directly to me—I'll expose the truth on my next livestream. Second, invest in a tinfoil hat for your dog. If Big Ag is targeting us, they're definitely targeting man's best friend too. And finally, stock up on ammunition and beef jerky. The garden apocalypse is coming, and only the prepared will survive.

Remember, folks: if it's unsolicited, unmarked, and from a foreign country, it's probably a plot to turn Texas into a vegan dystopia. Stay vigilant. Stay armed. And for the love of all things holy, don't plant those seeds.