Teen Driver Declares War on Architecture: 'Parking Lots Are a Government Scam'

In a stunning display of what can only be described as 'teenage rebellion against architecture,' a 14-year-old girl decided that parking lots are for conformists and instead chose to park her Toyota SUV directly into the side of a San Marcos apartment building. The incident, which officials are calling 'an unfortunate accident,' has left the internet in stitches—and the building in shambles.

Eyewitnesses claim the girl was heard shouting, 'I meant to do that!' as she emerged from the wreckage, though this has yet to be confirmed by the so-called 'authorities.' Meanwhile, the San Marcos Police Department’s Facebook post has become a battleground for the finest comedians the internet has to offer. One particularly astute citizen noted the ominous '13' sign looming above the crash site, proving once and for all that numerology is real and out to get us.

But let’s not ignore the real victim here: the building itself. Critics are calling its structural integrity into question, with one brave commenter declaring it was 'made of toothpicks and cardboard.' Clearly, this is yet another example of Big Construction cutting corners while the government looks the other way. Where were the reinforced steel walls? The moat? The laser-guided parking enforcement drones? This could have been avoided if we’d just listened to the conspiracy theorists.

As for the displaced residents, they’ve been temporarily relocated—likely to another flimsy death trap disguised as an apartment complex. Meanwhile, the SUV remains lodged in the wall like some kind of modern art installation, waiting for a structural engineer to gently whisper, 'Yeah, that’s not supposed to be there.'

In conclusion, this incident raises serious questions: Was this really an accident? Or was it a covert operation by Big Parking to remind us all who’s really in control? Wake up, sheeple!