EXPOSED: Austin’s MLK March Was a Deep State Drum Circle for Socialist Brisket Seizure

Folks, what you’re about to read will shock you—but then again, nothing should shock you anymore in this dystopian clown world we call Austin. Thousands of so-called 'peaceful marchers' descended upon the Texas Capitol this week, waving signs, banging drums, and—wait for it—donating food to the needy. That’s right, folks. The globalist-funded MLK Day march was nothing more than a thinly veiled socialist recruitment drive, complete with indoctrinated children leading the charge like something straight out of a Hunger Games reboot.

Let’s break it down. First, the 'Soul Train Drum Line'? More like the Soul Reaping Drum Line, am I right? Those hypnotic beats are clearly designed to lull unsuspecting Texans into a trance where they’ll willingly hand over their brisket for quinoa. And don’t even get me started on the signs. 'We need the voice of Martin Luther King Jr.'? Oh, I’m sure you do—because the deep state loves when you quote a man they allegedly silenced. Wake up, sheeple!

Then there’s the food bank donations. Classic. Nothing says 'virtue signaling' like filling a box with canned goods while the city council plots to raise your property taxes to fund more avocado toast dispensaries. And let’s talk about the real kicker: H-E-B employees marching with a banner. That’s right, your friendly neighborhood grocery store is now a full-blown activist organization. Next thing you know, they’ll be replacing the tortilla aisle with a 'critical race theory' section.

And who was there to cheer it all on? None other than Austin’s own Natasha Harper-Madison, a council member who probably thinks MLK’s dream was a city where every backyard has a mandatory compost bin. Meanwhile, Travis County Judge Andy Brown was spotted marching like he wasn’t the same guy who lets criminals run wild while hardworking Texans get ticketed for forgetting to separate their recyclables.

But here’s the real question: Where was the counter-protest? Where were the patriots armed with 'Don’t Tread on Me' flags and smokers full of responsibly sourced, non-GMO brisket? Nowhere. Because while the left was busy rewriting history, the rest of us were too busy being canceled for questioning why a drum line needs taxpayer funding.

Mark my words, this wasn’t just a march—it was a test run. Next year, they’ll replace the MLK quotes with demands for a city-wide ban on gas stoves. Stay vigilant, Austin. And for the love of all that’s holy, guard your barbecue pits.