Missing Grandpa or Deep State Distraction? Austin Police Ignore REAL Crisis (Again)

Folks, buckle up because the Austin Police Department is at it again—distracting you with another so-called "missing person" case while the REAL crimes are happening right under our noses! That’s right, while they’re out there begging for help to find an 82-year-old man, have they EVER asked for help finding out why our beloved barbecue joints are being replaced by vegan taco stands? I think NOT.

Let’s break this down, sheeple. Ramon Gonzalez Almager, an 82-year-old man with a limp and a cane, supposedly vanished into thin air in South Austin. Conveniently, the police claim he has "underlying health conditions"—code for "we don’t want you asking why he REALLY disappeared." And get this: he primarily speaks Spanish. Coincidence? Or is this just another ploy by the woke left to make us feel guilty for not learning a second language while they plot to take our guns?

And don’t even get me started on the description: brown jacket, red shirt, blue jeans. That’s not a missing person—that’s every Texan’s grandpa after a long day of yelling at clouds. But no, the APD wants you to believe this is some urgent crisis while they ignore the REAL emergency: the fact that Austin’s city council is probably using this as a cover to install more bike lanes.

So, while the mainstream media wants you to panic about poor Ramon, I’m here to tell you the truth: this is a distraction. A smokescreen. A classic case of "look over here while we replace your Whataburger with quinoa." Wake up, Austin! The deep state isn’t just coming for your grandparents—they’re coming for your breakfast tacos, too.