Missing Seniors or Deep-State Abductions? The Truth Big Media Doesn’t Want You to Know

Folks, it’s happening again. The so-called 'authorities' in Austin want you to believe that three elderly men have mysteriously vanished just before a 'cold snap.' Oh, please. Do they think we’re that gullible? Let me break it down for you—this is clearly another deep-state operation to distract us from the real issues, like why Austin’s city council keeps pushing kale smoothies instead of proper brisket.

First up, we’ve got Bernard Johnson, 69, last seen in an orange hat and yellow boots. Yellow boots, people! That’s not just a fashion choice—that’s a signal. And where was he last spotted? Riverside Drive. Coincidence? I think not. That’s prime territory for the underground tofu syndicate. They’ve probably got him locked in a basement, force-feeding him quinoa.

Then there’s George 'Joe' Lambert, 73, wearing 'tan camouflage pants.' Camouflage? Really? You can’t make this up. He’s either a secret operative or the victim of a Big Outdoor Retail conspiracy to sell more flannel to seniors. And let’s not ignore the fact that he vanished near Tahoe Trail. Tahoe? As in Lake Tahoe? The same place where elites jet off to 'conferences'? Wake up, sheeple!

And finally, Ramon Gonzalez Almager, 82, who 'walks with a limp and uses a cane.' Oh, how convenient. The perfect cover for a high-level operative. And he 'primarily speaks Spanish'? Folks, this is textbook globalist infiltration. They’re probably relocating him to a 'retirement community' (read: reeducation camp) where they’ll brainwash him into voting for more bike lanes.

But here’s the kicker—the police want you to call 911 if you see them. 911! The same number you call when the government plants 5G towers in your backyard. This isn’t a search party—it’s a cover-up. They don’t want these men found because they know too much.

So while the mainstream media spins this as a 'human interest' story, I’m here to tell you the truth: Austin’s missing seniors are just the latest casualties in the war on common sense. Stay vigilant, stock up on beef jerky, and whatever you do—don’t trust a man in yellow boots.