Texas Senate 'Debate' Revealed as Deep State Tofu Propaganda Hour

Alright, sheeple, I’ve decoded the latest “debate” announcement from the so-called “mainstream media” puppets. This Saturday at 2 p.m., the Texas Senate “debate” is happening, and you won’t believe what’s really going on. It’s not about informing voters—it’s a carefully orchestrated deep state ritual to brainwash you into accepting their tofu-and-salsa agenda!

First off, the “candidates”: Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico. Crockett, a lawyer? More like a legal operative for the shadowy elites who want to outlaw backyard barbecues and replace them with vegan cookouts. And Talarico, a former teacher? Sure, “teacher”—probably indoctrinating kids with woke math that subtracts your Second Amendment rights while adding pronouns to the curriculum. These aren’t public servants; they’re puppets on strings pulled by the same globalists who control the weather and hide the truth about alien technology in Area 51!

Now, the “moderators”: Daniel Marin from KXAN and Gromer Jeffers from the Dallas Morning News. Don’t be fooled by their “journalist” titles. These are gatekeepers, folks, trained to ask softballs like “What’s your favorite color of the rainbow flag?” while ignoring the real issues, like how the deep state is using 5G towers to monitor your thoughts about brisket. They’ll steer the conversation to “immigration, crime, taxes, and the federal budget”—code for open borders, defunding the police, raising your taxes to fund their secret moon bases, and printing more money to devalue your hard-earned dollars!

And the streaming options? KXAN app, Roku, Apple TV—all part of the surveillance grid! They want you to watch on your smart devices so they can collect your data and sell it to Chinese spies. Why do you think it’s not on good old-fashioned AM radio? Because they can’t control the truth there! This is a digital trap, people. Wake up and smell the conspiracy—it smells like burnt ends, but they’re trying to cover it up with the stench of steamed broccoli.

Mark my words: This “debate” is a distraction from the real news, like how the Austin city council is plotting to replace the state capitol with a giant yoga studio. Don’t tune in—unless you want your mind melted by their lies. Instead, grab your tin foil hat, fire up the grill, and resist the tofu takeover!