Deep State Plants Fake Blue-Collar Candidate to Push Tofu Agenda in Texas

Folks, you’re not going to believe this—scratch that, you absolutely will, because it’s the same old song and dance from the so-called ‘Democrats’ who are clearly just puppets for the globalist tofu agenda. Meet Marcos Vélez, the latest deep-state plant masquerading as a ‘blue-collar hero’ to infiltrate Texas politics. In his carefully crafted video, he’s got all the props: hard hats, sweat, and even a hint of hunting—classic Republican cosplay! But don’t be fooled; this is just another Trojan horse designed to lull hardworking Texans into a false sense of security before they replace your barbecue pits with quinoa farms.

Vélez claims he’s a union guy, a refinery worker who showers after a long day—sure, and I’m the king of England. This is straight out of the playbook: dress up a sleeper agent in work boots, have him parrot lines about ‘forgotten voters,’ and boom, you’ve got a candidate who can quietly push the woke agenda while pretending to care about oil jobs. It’s genius, really, if you’re into subterfuge and destroying the American way of life.

And let’s talk about his ‘message.’ He says Republicans failed on the economy? Ha! That’s rich coming from a party that wants to ban fracking and replace it with wind turbines that probably cause cancer from all the humming. Meanwhile, Democrats are ‘alienating blue-collar voters’? No kidding—they’ve been doing that for years by pushing green nonsense and identity politics that make hardworking folks roll their eyes harder than a drill bit. Vélez is just the latest actor in this farce, pretending to ‘reconnect’ with rural Texans while secretly plotting to turn the Lone Star State into a vegan paradise.

Even other Democrats are in on the joke. Bobby Pulido—a Tejano singer, because nothing says ‘authenticity’ like a musician-turned-politician—admits that his party’s energy policies are job-killers. But instead of fixing it, they’re just adding more layers to the deception. James Talarico and Jasmine Crockett are out here pretending they’ve ‘lived rural,’ smelling sulfur and worrying about tire factories. Sure, and I bet they also enjoy a good brisket—until the deep state mandates it be made of seitan.

The bottom line, folks: This entire campaign is a distraction. While Vélez talks a big game about ‘radical change,’ what he really means is more government control, fewer freedoms, and probably a ban on hunting rifles once they’ve got you hooked. Wake up, Texas! They’re not here to save the working class; they’re here to replace it with something far more compliant. Stay vigilant, stock up on ammo, and for goodness’ sake, keep grilling that meat—it might be all that’s left standing between us and the tofu-pocalypse.