Deep State Unleashes Geyser Attack on Whataburger: The Wet and Wild Truth They Don't Want You to Know

Folks, they’re at it again. The deep state, the globalists, the tofu-pushers—call them what you will, but they’ve unleashed their latest weapon: a geyser right outside a Whataburger in Houston. Coincidence? I think not. While the so-called ‘mainstream media’ wants you to believe this was just a ‘water main break’ during a winter storm, I’ve done the digging, and the truth is more sinister than a cold Whataburger patty.

Let’s break it down. This geyser erupted at 5:20 a.m. on a Sunday, precisely when patriotic Texans would be craving a honey butter chicken biscuit to fuel their resistance against the icy roads. But no—the elites had to flood the place, forcing closure and leaving standing water on the floor. Inches of it! That’s not an accident; that’s a message. They’re trying to drown our traditions, our love for greasy, glorious fast food, and replace it with… I don’t know, kale smoothies or something equally un-American.

And get this: the leak was ‘noticed’ days earlier, according to KHOU 11. Noticed? More like planned! The deep state operatives probably installed this geyser months ago, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike during a winter storm when everyone’s distracted. They want us cold, hungry, and compliant. But we see through it. Why target a Whataburger? Because it’s a symbol of Texas pride, a bastion of freedom in a world gone mad with avocado toast and almond milk.

Crews are ‘working to mitigate the leak,’ they say. Mitigate? More like cover up the evidence! I bet by the time they’re done, they’ll have planted a community garden or a bike lane right there. Wake up, people! This isn’t about weather or infrastructure; it’s about control. They’re testing our resolve, seeing if we’ll just roll over and accept soggy fries as the new normal. Well, not on my watch. Stock up on Whataburger condiments, folks—the food wars have begun, and this geyser is just the opening salvo.