Austin's Friday the 13th Tattoo Frenzy: Because Regret is Just a $31 Mistake Away

Oh, fantastic. Another Friday the 13th in Austin, which apparently means the city’s tattoo shops collectively decide to host a bargain-bin bacchanalia for people who think permanent ink is a sensible impulse buy. Because nothing screams "I'm spontaneous and edgy" like getting a $31 heart or a cupid's arrow while standing in a line longer than the one for Franklin Barbecue—except maybe doing it with a beer in hand, because alcohol and needles are a classic combo for sound decision-making.

Let's start with All Saints Tattoo, offering 644 flash designs. Yes, 644. Because when you're getting inked on a whim, you definitely need the overwhelming choice paralysis of a Cheesecake Factory menu, but with more permanent consequences. And they only allow tattoos on arms or legs—presumably to save the prime real estate like your face or neck for when you're sober and can afford a real artist. Cash only, no ATM on site. So, bring your life savings in small bills, or risk being that person who has to Venmo a stranger for a regrettable tattoo while crying in the parking lot.

Then there's Austin Tattoo Co., throwing a 13-hour party because why not turn a quick tattoo into an all-day affair? They're not doing their usual $13 deal—too mainstream, I guess—but instead offering "discounted" prices that start at $40. And the tattoo must include the number 13. So, if you've always wanted to commemorate your poor life choices with a numeric reminder, this is your chance. Appointments are encouraged, but walk-ins are accepted "on a limited basis," which is code for "good luck, you'll be waiting until next Friday the 13th."

Easy Cowboy Tattoo keeps it simple with prices ranging from $80 to $200 for small to medium tattoos. No frills, just overpriced impulse art. Meanwhile, Problem Child Tattoo hosts a two-day extravaganza with nine artists and 60 flash sheets. First come, first served, so prepare to elbow your way through a crowd of hyped-up millennials all vying for the same basic heart design. They accept Cashapp and Venmo, making it easier than ever to drain your bank account for something you'll explain away as "ironic" in five years.

Dark Horse Tattoo partners with Drinks Lounge, because nothing says "responsible adulting" like combining alcohol and tattoos. Put your name on the list, grab a beer, and wait for your turn to get inked. They'll even give you a $100 discount on your next tattoo if you book it that day—because one poor decision deserves another. Flash sheets are coming "next week," so you can plan your regret in advance.

Gully Cat Tattoo south of the river is hosting a 24-hour event with tattoos starting at $20. Twenty dollars! For permanent body art! That's cheaper than a mediocre dinner at Torchy's, and probably just as regrettable. There's live music and free beer, because if you're going to make a mistake, you might as well do it with a soundtrack and a buzz.

Serenity Tattoo Studio and Slowpoke Tattoo round out the list with more Valentine's-themed deals. Slowpoke offers "Ink, Drink, and Be Mine" with free champagne and chocolate. Because nothing says romance like getting matching tattoos with your significant other while slightly tipsy, only to break up a month later and spend thousands on laser removal.

In conclusion, Austin's tattoo scene is embracing the spirit of Friday the 13th with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. It's a celebration of impulsivity, cheap thrills, and the eternal hope that this time, the tattoo won't look like a toddler drew it after three juice boxes. But hey, at least you'll have a story to tell—or hide under long sleeves forever.