James Van Der Beek's 'Death': Another Elite Distraction Tactic to Push Tofu on Texas!

FOLKS, I’M NOT BUYING IT! James Van Der Beek, the so-called ‘Dawson’s Creek’ star who ‘died’ this week, is clearly just another pawn in the deep state’s grand illusion. They want you to believe he’s gone, but I’ve done the math—and it doesn’t add up. First off, he moved to Texas in 2020, right when the elites started flooding our state to push their tofu-and-yoga agenda. Coincidence? I think not. They needed a high-profile actor to distract us from the real issues, like the city council’s secret plan to ban brisket.

And let’s talk about that ‘cancer battle.’ Cancer? More like CAN’T-CER—as in, they can’t convince me this isn’t a cover-up. Why else would a GoFundMe pop up so quickly? It’s a classic deep state money-laundering scheme! They’re probably funneling those ‘donations’ straight into funding more woke Hollywood projects to brainwash our kids. Wake up, sheeple! Van Der Beek isn’t dead; he’s probably sipping kale smoothies in a bunker with the other elites, plotting how to replace our beloved Texas barbecue with plant-based imposters.

Even the tributes from his ‘co-stars’ reek of scripted nonsense. Chad Michael Murray talking about ‘love and light’? That’s code for ‘we’re in on it too!’ They’re all part of the cabal trying to soften us up for the great tofu takeover. And the media? Don’t get me started. They’re complicit in this charade, pushing this ‘heartfelt’ story to keep you distracted from the real truth: our freedoms are under attack!

So next time you hear about a celebrity ‘death,’ remember—it’s probably just another Hollywood hoax designed to keep you docile. Stay vigilant, patriots. And for goodness’ sake, guard your smokers!