Embrace Your Regrets: A Guide to Austin's Friday the 13th Tattoo Frenzy

Oh, joy. It's that time again when Austin collectively decides to celebrate the most terrifying day of the year—Friday the 13th—by getting cheap, pre-drawn tattoos. Because nothing says "I'm embracing my dark side" like a $13 heart with a tiny dagger through it, hastily inked onto your arm while you wait in a line longer than the one for Franklin Barbecue.

Let's start with the sheer logistics. Apparently, you can only get these masterpieces on your arms or legs. No torso, no back—heaven forbid someone wants to commemorate their existential dread with a tattoo on a less visible body part. It's almost as if the tattoo artists are doing you a favor by limiting your poor life choices to areas that can be easily covered with a long-sleeved shirt when your future employer asks about that "quirky" decision.

And the designs! Oh, the creativity. Hearts, cupid arrows, and—wait for it—the number 13. Because nothing screams "romance" like combining a day associated with bad luck with a holiday that already pressures people into buying overpriced chocolates. At All Saints Tattoo, you can get a black outline for $31, or splurge for an extra color for $40. Because who needs groceries when you can have a slightly more vibrant reminder of your impulsive decisions?

Some shops are even throwing in piercings for $13, not including jewelry. That's right, for the low, low price of a mediocre lunch, you can have someone poke a hole in you and then charge you extra for the metal that goes in it. It's like a subscription service for pain and regret.

But wait, there's more! Austin Tattoo Co. is hosting a 13-hour party. Because what could be better than spending half a day in a crowded room full of people making questionable aesthetic choices? They're not even doing their usual $13 plus $7 deal this time—no, they've upgraded to a whopping $40 for a small black tattoo. Inflation hits everyone, even the tattoo industry.

Over at Gully Cat Tattoo, they're going all out with a 24-hour event. Free beer, live music, and tattoos starting at $20. Because nothing says "I'm responsible" like getting inked at 3 a.m. after several free beers, all while a band called Worm Suicide serenades you. It's basically Coachella for people who prioritize permanent skin art over rent.

And let's not forget the Hotel Van Zandt, which is offering complimentary tattoos alongside tarot readings and $5 margaritas. Because if the tarot card reader tells you your future is bleak, you might as well numb the pain with tequila and a fresh tattoo. It's a holistic approach to poor decision-making.

Ink Empire takes the cake with their strict policy: no guests allowed unless they're getting tattooed. Because nothing ruins the vibe like having a sober friend there to talk you out of it. They also limit you to five tattoos per person, which is basically the tattoo equivalent of an all-you-can-eat buffet—you might not want all five, but by golly, you paid for them (sort of).

All in all, it's a beautiful celebration of Austin's "keep it weird" ethos, which apparently now means "get a cheap tattoo on a superstitious day and pretend it's art." But hey, at least when you're old and wrinkled, you'll have a faded heart with "13" scribbled inside to remind you of that one time you waited in line for three hours just to save $50 on something permanent. Authenticity, am I right?