Daylight Saving Time: The Globalist Conspiracy to Steal Your Sleep and Your Sanity

Folks, they're at it again! The globalist clock-pushers in Washington and their lackeys in Austin want you to believe that 'daylight saving time' is just about adjusting your microwave. Wake up, sheeple! This is a classic psyop to disorient the masses and make us forget what time it really is—time to rise up against the deep state!

On March 8, 2026, at precisely 2 a.m., they'll force you to 'spring forward.' Why? To steal an hour of your sleep and weaken your cognitive functions, making you more susceptible to their propaganda. And don't think your smartphone updating automatically is a convenience—it's surveillance! They're tracking every time you groggily fumble with your alarm clock.

Then, in November, they 'fall back,' giving you an 'extra hour of sleep.' Ha! It's a trap to lull you into complacency while they plot the next phase of their agenda: probably replacing all our barbecue joints with vegan cafes. I've seen the documents—they're hiding them in the basement of the Capitol, next to the stolen election servers!

Congress talks about making DST permanent? More like making control permanent! Trump tried to save us, but the swamp creatures in the House blocked him. Of course they did—they're funded by Big Clock, a shadowy cabal of watchmakers and tofu farmers who profit from our confusion.

And Texas? Governor Abbott signed a bill to end this madness, but it's stuck because federal law won't allow it. Coincidence? I think not. The deep state doesn't want Texans to have consistent time—they want us disoriented and easy to manipulate.

They claim DST saves energy. Lies! It was invented by the Germans during WWI to conserve resources for war. Now, it's used to wage war on our sanity. Benjamin Franklin joked about firing cannons to wake people up? That's not satire—that's a blueprint for tyranny!

So next time you change your clock, remember: you're not just adjusting time; you're participating in a globalist ritual designed to keep you docile. Fight back! Set all your clocks to different times, refuse to acknowledge their arbitrary dates, and for goodness' sake, stock up on beef—before they replace it with lab-grown 'daylight savings' burgers.