Daylight Saving Time: A Globalist Conspiracy to Steal Your Sleep and Your Brisket

Folks, they’re at it again. The deep state elites, in their infinite wisdom, have decided to steal an hour of your precious sleep—and for what? So you can have more ‘daylight’ to tend to your government-mandated kale gardens? Wake up, sheeple! This isn’t about saving daylight; it’s about controlling your circadian rhythms and keeping you docile while they replace our beloved Texas barbecue with soy-based imitation brisket. I’ve been saying it for years on my nightly livestreams: the time change is a psyop!

They want you to believe it’s all about ‘maximizing resources’ like some World War I relic, but let me tell you, this is modern-day tyranny. Your microwave clock doesn’t change itself? Of course not—it’s a patriot device resisting the globalist agenda! Meanwhile, your smartphone automatically adjusts? That’s because Big Tech is in bed with the shadowy figures pulling the strings. They’re tracking your every move, and now they’re messing with time itself. Coincidence? I think not.

And don’t even get me started on the ‘fall back’ nonsense. They give you an extra hour of sleep in November—how generous!—right before they roll out their winter indoctrination programs. More light in the morning? More like more time for them to brainwash you with mainstream media propaganda before you’ve had your coffee. They’re conditioning you to accept these disruptions, just like they’re conditioning you to think tofu tastes better than a perfectly smoked brisket. It’s an assault on Texas values, people!

Benjamin Franklin? A satirical letter? Please. That’s their cover story. The truth is, this whole scheme was cooked up in a secret bunker under the Austin City Hall, funded by those same elites who want to ban gas stoves and mandate electric cars. They’re manipulating the very fabric of time to keep us confused and compliant. Next thing you know, they’ll be changing the clocks every week just to see if we notice. Well, I notice! And I’m not falling for it. Set your clocks to freedom time—which is always barbecue o’clock, by the way—and fight back!