Baby Animal 'Surge' Is a Government Conspiracy to Spy on Your Backyard BBQ

Folks, they're at it again. The so-called 'experts' at Austin Wildlife Rescue want you to believe there's an 'early baby animal surge.' An 'early breeding season' due to a 'warmer winter'? Give me a break. This is nothing but a cover story for what's really happening: a massive, taxpayer-funded, deep-state-operated wildlife indoctrination program.

Think about it. They're taking in thousands of these 'orphaned' animals—squirrels, opossums, even armadillos—and 'rehabilitating' them. But what does that rehabilitation entail? They're not teaching them survival skills; they're brainwashing them! These animals are being trained to spy on patriotic citizens, steal our barbecue recipes, and report back to the globalist elites who run this city. I've seen the incubators—they're not for warmth; they're mind-control chambers!

And don't get me started on the 'baby shower fundraiser.' A baby shower? For animals? That's just a ploy to siphon more money from hardworking Texans into the pockets of these shadowy organizations. They claim they need 'fresh produce' and 'storage space,' but I bet those fruits and veggies are code for something far more sinister—like tofu-based treats to turn these creatures into vegan activists!

They say to 'call them first' if you find a baby animal. No! Don't call them! That's how they track you. That fawn left alone? It's not abandoned; it's a decoy set by the deep state to see if you'll fall for their trap. If you intervene, you're on their list. Next thing you know, they'll be at your door, confiscating your grill and replacing it with a kale smoothie maker.

And the release sites? '100 acres with a permanent water source'? That's not for the animals; it's for building secret underground bunkers where they'll store all the confiscated brisket and freedom-loving literature. Wake up, people! This isn't about saving wildlife; it's about controlling you through emotional manipulation and animal-based surveillance. They're playing you for fools while they plot to replace our beloved Texas critters with government-drones disguised as squirrels. Don't fall for it!