ZIP Code Conspiracy: Why Austin’s Age Maps Are a Deep State Deception

Ever feel like your neighborhood is suddenly overrun by a plague of 20-somethings who think a four-dollar coffee is a bargain and whose primary form of exercise is walking to the next bar? Well, according to the latest "data" from the so-called "Census Bureau"—which I’m sure is just a front for the globalist tofu-lovers—Austin’s ZIP codes are apparently a hotbed of generational segregation. They want you to believe that 78705 and 78712 are crawling with 18- to 21-year-olds, as if anyone needed a map to tell them that West Campus is basically a giant, open-air dormitory where the primary export is empty White Claw cans and questionable life choices. Wake up, sheeple! This is clearly a ploy by the urbanist elites to justify their war on single-family homes and backyard barbecues. They’re trying to convince you that it’s "natural" for the youth to cluster like mold spores while families are "happier" in the suburbs—where the only thing denser than the traffic is the HOA’s rulebook. Don’t be fooled by their fancy maps and "data." This is how they normalize the tofu-pushing agenda.