Texas Declares Victory in War on Drugs by Pretending Addicts Don't Exist

In a stunning display of bureaucratic logic that would make Kafka blush, Texas has officially perfected the art of having its cake and not letting anyone eat it—especially if that cake is laced with fentanyl. According to a recent WalletHub analysis, the Lone Star State boasts the second-lowest rate of drug use in the nation, a statistic that has politicians patting themselves on the back while simultaneously ignoring the fact that they’ve also ensured there’s nowhere to go if you do, heaven forbid, develop a pesky little addiction. It’s like winning a gold medal for having the fewest fires in a town where all the fire hydrants have been replaced with decorative cacti.

Let’s break this down for those not fluent in Texan governance: Texas has one of the lowest rates of drug users, but if you are one of the unlucky few who fall into that category, good luck finding help. The state ranks dead last in substance abuse treatment facilities per capita. To put that in perspective, Kentucky—yes, Kentucky—has six times as many rehab centers. Six! That’s enough to make a Texan consider moving to a state where they might actually care if you overdose, as long as you don’t mind swapping your barbecue for bourbon.

Assistant Chief of Police Josh Bruegger of Pasadena was recently photographed posing with Narcan, the opioid overdose reversal drug, looking as proud as if he’d just single-handedly defeated the entire cartel. But let’s be real: in Texas, that Narcan is probably just for show, like a prop in a low-budget action movie where the hero never actually uses the antidote because the scriptwriters forgot to include a villain. The state’s approach to the drug crisis seems to be a masterclass in performative concern—lots of tough talk about enforcement (they rank 17th there, because nothing says 'we care' like a good old-fashioned bust), but when it comes to actual care, they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Overdose deaths have been climbing nationwide since 1999, with more than 68,400 reported in the 12 months ending October 2025. In Texas, this trend is met with a collective shrug and a reminder that, hey, at least we’re not New Mexico (which, by the way, tops the list for highest drug use—take that, Land of Enchantment!). The experts, like WalletHub’s Chip Lupo, suggest states need to balance enforcement with access to care. In Texas, that balance looks a lot like a seesaw with an anvil on the enforcement side and a feather on the care side.

So, what’s a Texan to do if they find themselves in the grips of addiction? Well, they could always try Nebraska, which has the lowest drug use rate—maybe there’s something in the corn. Or perhaps they’ll just have to rely on the state’s favorite pastime: denial. After all, if you don’t have many treatment facilities, you can’t have many addicts, right? It’s the circular logic that keeps on giving, much like a bad trip that never ends. In the end, Texas proves that when it comes to drug policy, you can indeed have it both ways: low usage and even lower compassion.