In a shocking turn of events, East Austin's trendiest lounge, Papercut, has been named one of Esquire's 14 "Best Bars in America" for 2026. This announcement has sent shockwaves through the tech bro community, who are now frantically trying to figure out how to invest in the bar's cloud infrastructure.
Papercut, which doubles as a contemporary art gallery, has become the talk of the town thanks to its innovative cocktail menu that changes every two to three months to pair with the artist currently on display. The bar's namesake cocktail, made with Rosaluna Mezcal, tangerine liqueur, Aperol, pomegranate, pineapple, and lemon, has been likened to what a Paper Plane and a Naked & Famous might taste like if they had a boozy baby. And let's not forget about the fancy CO2 machine from the future that blast-chills your drink in six seconds. Very cold. Very cool.
But the real kicker? Papercut is also home to a late-night sushi bar, Kobini, which serves nigiri and sandos. This has led to a heated debate among Austin's tech bros about whether it's more important to invest in the bar's cocktail menu or its sushi offerings. "I'm telling you, man, the sushi is where it's at," said Chad Evans, a 28-year-old self-proclaimed "Silicon Hills" tech bro. "But we can't ignore the potential of that CO2 machine. It's like, the future of drinking, bro."
So if you're looking for a place to sip on some fancy cocktails, admire some contemporary art, and argue about cryptocurrency markets, Papercut is the place to be. Just don't forget to bring your vape pen.