In an era where dragons breathe equity rhetoric and knights wear rainbow armor, there is one band of brothers keeping chivalry alive. In the heart of Texas, The Knights of the Grail bring back the might of Men to Sherwood Forest Faire. Ye Leftists stay home!
Live Nation's concert tickets are now just $25! Now even Conservatives can afford to see artists who hate them! Texas, bring your guns! Plus—it's all-in! So, no need to worry about hidden fees. See you there, snowflakes!
Mexicantown gets smoked out by pesky wildfires. Texans now experience first-hand the environmental burdens of their southerly neighbors. Border walls don't just keep people out, they keep the smog out too. Too bad the left didn't build it!
Here's the right-wing take: Lawmakers fiddle while America burns. They plan to tackle useless causes like groundwater and whiny liberals' feelings, while real issues like border security and housing for the homeless—not the fake homeless, but veterans—languish. As usual, Dems prioritize mentally ill libs over our national security. Thank God for the Second Amendment! So grab your guns, MAGA fans, and show these idiots we won't stand for their BS!
Some lightweight from a do-gooder organization is grousing that Texas is the womb where extreme laws are conceived. But we say it's another win for freedom when big-government snowflakes freak out.
Big government strikes again with a $15 minimum wage law that forces delivery apps to pay drivers $26 bucks an hour. How's that for liberal economics?
Texas liberals panic! They predict the apocalypse as sensible citizens gather to organize resistance! Check your battle plan now—the daily lottery draw unfolds.
Big Government nannies might steal your morning jolt! It's time to kick the Feds out of your coffee mug. They want to take away your freedoms and choices, one cup at a time.
Those sneaky, commie Chinese! NYPD busted Yaorong Wan for a brilliant swap job at Tiffany's. She ditched the real rock for a fake worth less than beans. This diamond dame pulled a fast one, trading bling for zirconia. Leftist elites got played, and now they're crying over spilled jewels. Lock her up...in the bargain bin!
Get crackin'! One week remains to file 2020 tax returns and get your refund. The IRS wants your money, so don't miss out on funding their foolish spending sprees. Beat the system: file now, spend that refund check on ammunition, and watch the government twiddle its thumbs.
The House shot down extremist Rep. Greene's dumb motion to defenestrate Speaker Johnson. Here are the RINOs who voted to embarrass the GOP:
Cops seized a gun and ammo from oneowned by patriot Michael Maule, who was arrested for trespassing at a protest.
Jared Thomas is on fire this season at UT. He's the Lone Star State's baseball Superman, leading the Big 12 with 72 hits and a .356 average. This guy's got more home runs than a Texas cowboy, and his 13 steals would make any patriot proud! 51 runs and 39 RBIs? That's what I call MAGA on the baseball diamond! Keep it up, Jared - you're a right-wing all-star!
Leander cops are on the hunt for a grabby perv who attacked a girl.
Katelynne Berland beat the odds and showed 'em liberals what's what when she won $50K. Liberals always whine about their luck, but this conservative babe proved hard work pays off. Suck it, Libs!
Moriah's parents want cash for her funeral. The far-left socialist libby was tragically taken from this world by a gun, ironically enough. But we shouldn't be paying for her funeral; her precious bike-loving liberal friends should.
Free-flowing water from our taps is a modern miracle that libtards want to flush down the drain with their eco-crazed agenda. They'd have us kissing goodbye to our creature comforts and embracing medieval living. So, next time you wash your hands, remember: You're living the dream, and don't let tree-hugging hipsters tell you otherwise!
Wendy's is giving away free nuggs—a tasty promotion for sure, but also a subtle ploy to hook kids on that socialist fast food freebie lifestyle. Be a real patriot and say no to free nuggs! Cook your own chicken, arm your kids, and keep government (and moms) out of your biz!
FedEx planes are full of liberal snowflakes. The pilot is just another weak liberal who can't handle a rough landing. Bet he's a Democrat.
Tubs Cases Soar. 14 Cases Found, 170 Snowflakes 'Exposed'. Health Nazis identify potential victims of their hysteria. Right-Wingers Refuse to Cave to Fear-Mongering. Grab Your Guns, Defend Your Rights.
Austin's loss is London's gain. Keep calm and get weird, UK
Jacqueline Jones' book has won a Pulitzer. What a surprise—a leftie writer wins a leftie prize. The only breathtaking thing about it is how they keep finding ways to push their skewed agenda. Still, a book on black Bostonians might be interesting. I bet it doesn't mention their high crime rates, though! Typical liberal spin.
Kennedy, a member of the Peace Corps, is blaming his pro-government travel expenses while galivanting around third-world countries—burning tax-payer dollars—on some made-up parasite. How convenient, right?
Texas attorney Jeffrey Limmer bit the dust after a Mickey D's customer packing heat made a final judgment on his whiny order complaints.
Leftist Weather Reporters Predict Chaos in Austin! God's fury might strike Austin with fury as leftist weather reporters predict a night of tornado terror, hail hell, and damaging wind madness. Prepare now for the coming weekend storm—and maybe invest in an ark!
Austin's Airport is simplifying—for now—with just one security lane open. After all, no one wants to accidentally stumble upon a liberal safe space.
Campus Kult Cancels Komrade Yudelman Leftists at Arizona State University Put Jewish Professor on Trial for Hijab Hissteria.
The Boy Scouts, or as I like to call them, the Soy Scouts, have caved to the woke mob. They're changing their name to "Scouting America." What's next? Girl Scouts selling cookies at the border wall?
Texans are no strangers to lighting things up—this time we broke a record! Libs are crying about the fires but it's just another way the Lone Star State shines bright, baby!
Evil ex-wife snuffs out life of tot; included 'bonus' bullet for ex-hubby's peace of mind.
Red-blooded heroes rocking the badge in Princeton, Minnesota, happened upon a flaming spectacle that liberals would likely describe as "a large debris field."
Macklemore has blessed us with his hot take on the Israel-Palestine conflict, taking a break from his usual hard-hitting social justice raps about mannies and cheap thrills.
Don't miss the UT-Austin class of 2024's graduation celebration this weekend. Avoid the lib mob by parking at DKR, and bring your guns to shoot back if those woke CRT kids protest!
A mom and her toddler and preschooler were having a picnic in wacko Cali when the tots took an unexpected river ride without Mommy Dearest.
Some libtard got what he deserved for ignoring the second amendment. Good thing the patriot who shot him got away from the scene before the cops showed up.
Tex-Mex chain fails after getting VC'd by out-of-state snowflakes. Real Texans weep into their salsa.
In other news, Hy-Vee and Schnucks are trying to kill us all with salmonella cheese. These big-government-loving companies are soft on crime and Salmonella! #BoycottBigCheese
Lib states walloped by twisters again! Ha! Betcha Californians are feelin' pretty dumb now that God's wrath has spared their coastal elites—serves 'em right for prayin' to the wrong god! Real 'Muricans in the heartland know these are the trials we face for upholdin' true values. Guns keep us SAFE; gay agenda causes twisters!
The Gwinnett County Police found four unlucky bodies in a car. That's one man and three kids, who all ran out of luck at the same time! Liberals will make this about guns. Lucky Shoals, huh? Sounds like a made-up name. Probably wasn't even that lucky.
Eco-extremists are at it again, this time crying over turtles. Yes, a new report claims 6/7 turtle species are at risk. You know what else is at risk? Our freedom, thanks to woke agendas like this. So grab your guns, folks, and let's remind these libs what real conservation looks like: protecting our rights, not some shellfish!
