Grieving an intangible dream

I found out as a teen that my adored stuffed bunny was a series of replacements. My parents regularly swapped it for a new one, citing a 'stuffed animal spa'. I now see this as practice for coping with losses in adulthood.

My American Girl dolls played an essential role in helping me understand and interact with the world. I crafted intricate narratives for each, often mirroring my reality. Addie and Josefina were adopted, and Addie had type I diabetes.

At eight, I learned I had Turner syndrome, impacting my chromosomes and fertility. My mother honestly explained my inability to conceive, giving me space and time to grieve and choose my path.

Someone attempting to realize their dream of parenthood who lost an embryo in a failed IVF transfer or miscarried or had an adoption fall through doesn’t have a photo to point to and say, “This is who I loved and lost.” But they imagined who that potential child might be. They loved that idea of a future with them. And they feel their absence.

Infertility journeys are unique, but a common thread is grieving the intangible—letting go of envisioned life paths. Whether it's parenthood, a career, or a relationship, we all face detours and roadblocks.

Former Olympic skater Tara Lipinski's podcast, "Unexpecting", resonates with those on non-traditional roads to parenthood: "just because our path might look different doesn’t mean we’re lost."

To those grieving dreams this Mother's Day, know you're not alone. There's light ahead, even if it's not the sunrise you expected.

Fiona Wilson, a teacher from Philadelphia, shares her story of living with Turner syndrome. Check out her blog here and her writing in the book Standing Tall with Turner Syndrome . She intends to become a parent in the coming years.