Hurricane Milton: Because Florida Wasn't Miserable Enough

In what can only be described as a classic case of "hold my beer, watch this," Hurricane Milton decided to rapidly intensify into a Category 4 storm early Monday morning. Because why not? Sustained winds are now reaching 150 mph, according to the 8:05 a.m. update from the National Hurricane Center. This glorified windstorm is currently waltzing across the Gulf of Mexico, heading straight for Florida's already storm-battered western coast. Great, just what we needed.

The NHC, in their infinite wisdom, issued hurricane watches for parts of Florida. Apparently, life-threatening storm surges, heavy rainfall, and destructive winds are all the rage this season. That's right, folks—Florida’s about to get the hurricane party started. Again.

Because You Need to Track the Apocalypse

Where is Hurricane Milton right now?

If you're morbidly curious, according to the NHC's 8:05 a.m. weather advisory on Monday:

• Location: 150 miles west-northwest of Progreso, Mexico
• Maximum sustained winds: 150 mph
• Present movement: East-southeast at 8 mph

When is Hurricane Milton going to hit Florida?

On the forecast track (because why be unpredictable when you can be utterly predictable?), Milton is forecast to move near or just north of the Yucatan Peninsula Monday and Tuesday, then cross the eastern Gulf of Mexico and approach the west coast of the Florida Peninsula by Wednesday, the NHC said. Brace yourselves, we're in for another joyride.

Hurricane Milton spaghetti models: See the projected path

Because nothing says "impending doom" like a map shoved full of spaghetti. Track it like you would track a bad reality TV show—except this one actually blows.

Hurricane tracker 2024: Hurricane Kirk, Hurricane Leslie and another tropical system

Why limit the fun to just one storm? Here’s your one-stop shop for tracking Kirk, Leslie, and whatever else shows up. Because why have one natural disaster when you can have multiple?

Texas weather watches and warnings

Just in case Florida wasn’t enough, let’s throw Texas in the mix too. You know, to shake it up a bit.

Stay informed. Get weather alerts via text

Because nothing says "quality time" like receiving doomsday updates straight to your phone.

Interactive map: Hurricanes, tropical storms that have passed near your city

Ever wanted to relive the trauma of past storms? Now you can! Check out this interactive map to see which hurricanes thought your city was prime real estate for a storm vacation.

— USA TODAY contributed to this report. The story was updated to correct a typo, as if anyone cares about typos when a hurricane is coming.