Hurricane Milton Gives NASA the Middle Finger, Europa Clipper Launch Delayed AGAIN

Oh look, another damn hurricane is stomping all over NASA's plans. This time, it's Hurricane Milton messing with the Europa Clipper mission. Because who needs to search for life beyond Earth when you can sit at home and binge Netflix instead?

The Europa Clipper, which is basically a fancy-ass orbiter, was all set to hitch a ride on a SpaceX rocket this Thursday. It was going to start its six-year joyride to Jupiter's moon Europa to see if there's any chance of life out there. But nooooo, Milton had to come along and ruin everything.

This life-threatening storm is supposed to bring a shit ton of rain and high winds to Florida's east coast, right where the launch site is. NASA and SpaceX tucked their tails between their legs and delayed the launch, hiding the spacecraft in a hangar at Launch Complex 39A like a kid hiding their favorite toy from their siblings. NASA said.

This comes just a week after Hurricane Helene gave the Crew-9 mission a run for its money. Because apparently, space exploration is just too damn easy these days.

Tim Dunn, some bigshot at NASA’s Launch Services Program, said in a statement, “The safety of launch team personnel is our highest priority, and all precautions will be taken to protect the Europa Clipper spacecraft.” Blah blah blah, safety first, who cares?

Hurricane Milton: The Ultimate Cockblocker

Launch teams had the Europa Clipper all ready to go on Friday, getting it all cozy with the SpaceX Falcon Heavy rocket. They were going to roll it out to the launch pad and get it all vertical and stuff, but then Milton happened.

As of early Monday, this asshole storm strengthened from a Category 3 to a Category 4, with winds of 150 mph. Great, just what we need.

Who Cares About the Europa Clipper Mission Anyway?

NASA has been planning this stupid mission for years, sending the Europa Clipper to Jupiter's moon Europa. The Europa Clipper is supposed to check out this vast ocean hidden under the moon's icy surface because apparently, scientists think there might be life out there. Whoop-de-doo.

With its huge solar arrays and radar antennas, the Clipper is NASA's biggest spacecraft for a planetary mission. Big deal. It's supposed to map and scan Europa's surface during nearly 50 flybys to see if the moon is habitable. Yawn.

NASA to Figure Out a New Launch Date...Eventually

NASA hasn't announced a new launch date yet, but they say the window is open until Nov. 6. After Milton pisses off, they'll make sure the spaceport is safe and check for any storm damage. Because God forbid anything actually goes as planned.

“Once we have the ‘all-clear’ followed by facility assessment and any recovery actions, we will determine the next launch opportunity for this NASA flagship mission,” Dunn said. Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before.

Contributing: John Bacon, USA TODAY

Eric Lagatta covers breaking and trending news for USA TODAY. Reach him at elagatta@gannett.com