Another Week, Another Stupid Powerball Drawing

Oh boy, here we go again. The Powerball jackpot is now a whopping $364 million because, shockingly, no one won the last draw. I mean, who could've seen that coming, right?

If some lucky idiot has the winning ticket this Saturday, they'll take home about $175.2 million after Uncle Sam gets his cut. Because hey, why should the government miss out on the fun?

A couple of months ago, some schmuck in California won $44.3 million, and before that, some clown in Pennsylvania bagged $213.8 million. Good for them, I guess. They can now afford to move out of their mom's basement. Unlike some of us.

The winning numbers will be drawn around 11 p.m. ET on Saturday. I'll be here, sulking in my basement, ready to update the results. Because God knows I have nothing better to do with my life.

Powerball winning numbers for 10/12/2024

The winning numbers will show up here once they're out. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Winning lottery numbers are sponsored by Jackpocket, the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY network. Because apparently, even journalism is selling out to the lottery now.

Did anyone win the Powerball?

Keep your damn tickets close. Once Powerball spits out the results, I'll be stuck updating the winners here. Lucky me.

Want to see who else has won in the past? Knock yourself out here.

How to waste $2 on Powerball

To throw away your money on a Powerball ticket, head to your local convenience store, gas station, or grocery store. Or, if you're lucky enough to live in one of a handful of states, you can waste your money online.

Pick six numbers - five white balls (1-69) and one red Powerball (1-26). If you're feeling extra stupid, add a "Power Play" for another buck. This magical addition can multiply your non-jackpot winnings. Wow, sign me up.

Too lazy to pick your own numbers? Ask for a "Quick Pick" and let the computer decide your fate. Drawings are on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday nights. If no one wins, the prize goes up by millions. Because why not?

Where to buy tickets

You can buy tickets in person at gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores. Hell, even some airport terminals sell them.

Or, if you're a true degenerate, order online through Jackpocket in select states.Because who needs to leave the house when you can gamble from your couch?

Jackpocket is the official digital lottery courier of the USA TODAY Network. Gannett may earn revenue for audience referrals to Jackpocket services. Must be 18+, 21+ in AZ and 19+ in NE. Not affiliated with any State Lottery. Gambling Problem? Call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY); 1-800-327-5050(MA); 1-877-MYLIMIT (OR); 1-800-981-0023 (PR); 1-800-GAMBLER (all others). Visit jackpocket.com/tos for full terms.

Yeah, yeah, responsible gambling and all that jazz. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some wallowing in self-pity to do.