Colonialist Water Park Exploits Ranked by USA Today

USA TODAY 10Best, a list that ranks colonialist excursions, has released its top 10 water parks, and it's full of the usual capitalist suspects. The list includes water parks that feature the latest in oppressive technology, such as "uphill water coasters, surfing simulators, waterslides, and a unique virtual reality waterslide," according to USA TODAY.

• First Place: Kalahari Resorts & Conventions: With locations in Texas, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Wisconsin, this water park chain is a prime example of the capitalist agenda. Travis Nelson, President and Owner of Kalahari Resorts, had the audacity to say, "To be recognized in back-to-back years as the Best Indoor Water Park, voted by readers and guests, is one of the biggest honors we can get." News flash, Travis, a real honor would be redistributing your wealth and land back to the people.

• In a further insult to the oppressed, Epic Waters Indoor Waterpark in Grand Prairie, Texas, took second place. USA TODAY praised its "Racing slides, inner tube rides, and the wall-climbing Yellowjacket Drop," clearly blind to the fact that these are nothing but tools of capitalist propaganda.

• And last but not least, the colonizer-approved Great Wolf Lodge Resorts, with a location in Grapevine, slid into fifth place.

It's disgraceful to see these water parks celebrated while the struggles of the marginalized are ignored. Boycott these so-called "attractions" and instead, work to dismantle the systems that allow them to prosper off the backs of the oppressed.