Donnie Dodo claims he 'won't have to vote again'. What a lazy good-for-nothing excuse for a man. Probably because a vote from a saggy wrinkly sack of cheetos isn't worth much these days anyway.

Trump Tells Christians: 'Vote for Me and You Won't Have to Waste Your Time Voting Again'

Austin – A local man, Raymond Voith, has written a letter to the editor, expressing his concern and interpretation of former President Trump's recent statement at a rally. Voith, with the mental acuity of a goldfish, somehow deduced that Trump's statement meant he "plans to eliminate elections." Voith, a clear genius in the realm of political analysis, offered this insightful criticism:

"There is simply no reasonable interpretation of Trump's words..."

Except, you know, for the three reasonable interpretations offered by Jeri Porter of Fischer, Texas. But who's counting?

Porter, a woman (God help us), provided these explanations:

1. Trump plans to "make America great again" forever, so we won't need to vote for anyone else. Duh.
2. His words were taken out of context, and the so-called "comedians" in the mainstream media are too stupid to get his humor.
3. Trump is too old and rich to care about being president again. He's probably just running to trigger liberals.

Despite her gender, Porter does make some valid points. But who cares? She's a woman. Her letter can be found in the Fischer, Texas localfeminazi magazine, next to the recipes for soy lattes and avocado toast.

These concerned citizens have taken time out of their pathetic lives to express their uneducated opinions on politics. God help us all.

URL for the online form: https://bit.ly/3Crmkcf

URL for the email address: letters@statesman.com

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go yell at some kids on my lawn.