Single Moms Celebrating Themselves on Father's Day Face Backlash, But Many Say It's Necessary

Every Father's Day, single moms celebrating themselves face criticism on social media.

"Single moms... Please don't do THAT... You know exactly what I'm talking about." — X user

"Please let the fathers have this day." — X user

But many single moms feel it's necessary to recognize their efforts, especially in a society that puts more pressure on mothers.

Melody Alderman, a solo mom to a 17-year-old son, is vocal about celebrating herself and other moms on Father's Day. She says:

"We don't have to have this tunnel vision... Things evolve. Times change. We're not in the 50s."

Alderman distinguishes between single moms, who coparent, and solo moms like herself, with no father in the picture. She faces vitriol for her views, with people thinking she's taking over Father's Day:

"The hate that I saw online was just shocking... 90% of them were like 'Now, solo moms want to be special.'"

Alderman denies hating men, but laments the expectation that mothers will raise children alone, while fathers have the option to opt out:

"You're expected to... be there for your child... It just feels like there's this expectation around mothers... whereas men... seem like they have the option of opting out."

She recalls a friend treated differently by society as a mother:

"When she would walk around with the baby, people were just giving her dirty looks... whereas her husband... everybody was like 'Oh, such a good dad.'”

'Oppression starts to reveal itself': Black American Dad Foundation founder

Jeremy Givens, founder of the Black American Dad Foundation, helps dads navigate the family court system. He's familiar with single moms' Father's Day posts, feeling sorry for them, but also sees it as a symptom of societal views of fathers:

"You didn’t make the baby alone... We don't look at primary source material... We have a primary source campaign..."

Givens started his nonprofit to challenge views of fathers, as their narrative is controlled by outsiders:

"It's controlled by everybody else who has never been a Black father and doesn't know what it's actually like."

He shares stories of dads sending care packages, standing on porches, facing obstacles in family court, and being barred from their children's lives. On Father's Day, he wore a shirt with "Black American Dad Foundation," and a woman asked if he celebrated patriarchy. He replied:

"We're celebrating the loving, caring, nurturing, providing, wisdom-instilling people that have chosen to uphold the integrity and sacredness of that role, which is Dad."

'It shouldn't hurt anyone for someone to be celebrated'

Tara Taylor, founder of Single Mom Strong, a nonprofit providing mothers career resources and childcare, chooses to celebrate both fathers and mothers doing double duty. She thinks the backlash is unnecessary:

"It shouldn't hurt anyone for someone to be celebrated. That confuses me... No one is trying to take something from someone else..."

Taylor, a single mom herself, finds celebrating accomplishments on Father's Day helpful, recognizing determined, gritty women:

"Giving them some grace for trying to find something to celebrate on a day that could be difficult..."