Austin Blows $120 Million on Fancy New Digs for Public Safety Bigwigs

Get ready, taxpayers! Austin's about to drop a cool $120 million on a shiny new headquarters for police, fire, and EMS in South Austin. Because, you know, the old buildings are just too "crummy, pathetic, dirt sorry," according to Mayor Kirk Watson.

City honchos announced their grand plan to snatch up a 386,000-square-foot facility on South MoPac Boulevard for a whopping $107.6 million. And that's not all, folks! They're planning to dump another $13 million into fixing it up. But don't worry, it's all in the name of "unprecedented collaboration and efficiencies."

Watson had some choice words for the current headquarters, describing them as aging, outdated facilities with busted mechanical systems, no parking, crumbling foundations, and lousy restrooms. Guess our public safety folks deserve a fancy new place with tenant lounges and volleyball courts, right?

Check out these sweet new digs: One Barton Skyway and Two Barton Skyway. Luxury offices, here we come!

And get this—they're using certificates of obligation to finance the whole thing. No voter approval needed! Isn't that convenient?

Broadnax claims revitalizing existing buildings is a "wise investment," but we all know how these things go. One minute it's a quick facelift, the next, we're paying for gold-plated toilets.

But hey, at least they're taking advantage of the soft office market, right? Two Barton Skyway's value has plummeted nearly 40% since last year. What a steal!

So, buckle up, Austin. Your tax dollars are about to work some serious magic. Let's just hope our public safety folks enjoy their new pad as much as we'll enjoy paying for it.

Shoutout to Shonda Novak for her contribution to this wild ride.