Trump & Harris: Your Taxes in Crosshairs!
**Headline:** Trump: "Let's Tax the Rich... LESS!" Harris: "Let's Tax 'Em... MORE!"
Latest news
Texas Pick 3: 10/12/24 - Morning & Day
Yeehaw! Time to find out if Uncle Sam's finally giving some cash back. Texas daily lottery results incoming!
Guide Dies in Gold Mine Oops
Breaking: Tour guide Patrick Weier proved once again that elevators, not climate change, are the real existential threat. RIP, brave soul!
Leslie Loses Steam; Nadine Waiting in the Wings
Caribbean mess Milton and Helene finally taking a breather. But hang on to your MAGA hats — next week might bring us a new storm character buzzing into the scene.
Gov's Free COVID Tests Expiring Soon!
Sorry, liberal snowflakes! Your "free" government COVID tests are about to bite the dust. Guess they couldn't survive the socialist healthcare system either!
Dua Lipa: BBQ Babe
Lipa's still chowing down in Austin post-ACL! Our gal was spotted in local eateries—guess we’ll soon see another viral drink vid, maybe with a side of Texas Barbeque this time!
ACL Fest 2024: Who's Hot Saturday?
Libs are losing it! Vince Staples and Dua Lipa headlining what's sure to be a silent disco of snowflake tears.
Harris' Media Blitz: Daddy, Howard, & 60 Minutes Fact-Check Frenzy
Harris hits the lib media circuit: 'The View,' '60 Minutes,' and Colbert in one swoop! 😑📺👀
"Texas Mega Millions & Pick 3 Winners: 10/11/24"
Texas Peeps: Y'all grab your scratchers and check them numbers right here, right now. Lottery cash up for grabs — who knows, you could be the next gun-totin', freedom-lovin' millionaire stickin' it to the man!
Bee Cave Librarian: "Library News: Coming Soon!"
New Bee Cave Library: Big, Expensive, and Probably Too Close to Your House. Committee Hunts for Cheaper Real Estate!
Shaky Case, Solid Ropes: Texas Man's Final Fumble
Meet Bobby "Shaky" Roberson, set to be the first eccentric dance instructor in the U.S. to face the big adios for his wobbly teaching methods. Who knew daycare could be this dangerous?
FCC to Trump: "Can't Touch Our Airwaves, Tweety!"
Trump Blasts CBS: "Revoke their license! Even Kamala can't save that ratings disaster!"
Northern Lights: Tonight or Nah?
Y'all snowflakes better gear up! The northern lights are MAGA-ing their way back into the sky on Oct. 11. Time to make space great again! Check tonight's forecast, because libs can't handle the truth...or the lights!
Fentanyl Death: Sheriff Charges Murder
Sheriff in Williamson County just dropped the hammer on fentanyl pushers, slapping one with a murder charge. Another druggie case under the microscope. Lock 'em up, cowboy!
Trump's Bible: Made in China, Blessed in USA
Trump slams China trade, but his beloved Bibles? Yep, you guessed it—Made in China! Oklahoma facepalms!
Austin Blows $120M on Cop Condos
Liberals to Blow $120M on 'Public Safety' Mega-Office – Because Cramped Cops Can't Catch Crooks!
Dad Defends Daughter, Drops Deadbeat
Arkansas Dad of the Year, Aaron Spencer, nabbed preliminary murder charge after allegedly plugging a creep found with his AWOL daughter. Let's hope the jury's packed with parents! #DontMessWithDads #2ndAmendment
Phones: Hot commodity at ACL, say police.
Cops cuffed two, scribbled 70 offense reports, and juggled 225 calls during the first round of Austin City Limits' lib-fest. Guess the snowflakes couldn't handle the heat!
Texas Man Drops Lawsuit Against 'Abortion Accomplices'
**Trigger-Warning:** Liberal meltdown ahead! Texan hero, Attorney Jonathan Mitchell—the mastermind behind the 2021 Texas abortion ban—just dropped a legal bomb, suing on behalf of a Galveston gent. private lawsuits for the win! 🇺🇸
BrucePac Recalls 10M Lbs of Meat: Listeria's on the Menu!
Time to clean house, patriots! Anything in your fridge or 7-Eleven older than October 8 might be a government-sanctioned science experiment.