Texans' Luck: Oct 9th Powerball & Lotto Results
Check if you're making Texas great (and richer) again! Today's lottery draw is out.
Latest news
Bad Doggie Ditch: Fido Fenced Amidst Flood Frenzy
**Got critters and a storm on your tail? Don't let 'em ride the rainbow to the big ranch in the sky! Quick draws save lives, even when it's a Category 5 liberal tantrum. Saddle up, stay sharp, and don't let Milton turn your pets into snowflakes!**
😷 DIY Sneeze Check! 🍵😌
FDA finally wakes up: "Yes, you can test yourself!" COVID and flu DIY tests now a-ok with the fun police. Looks like the nanny state is taking a sick day!
Dad's Day Out: Boy Time at Ballgame
High school football ain't what it used to be, folks! Now it's more perfume than pigskin, more cell phones than cheerleaders, and so many crickets you'd think they were the home team!
Fit Fast: Bodies by Design
Got a spare tire? Wake up and smell the bacon, not your neighbor's patchouli. Hit the gym, not the gender studies class. Simple, right?
Jessie Murph Rocks ACC Polls!
Lib jeans giant & woke MTV team up to bribe colleges for votes. Community campuses to become ballot battlefields, leftist indoctrination included free of charge!
Texas to Execute Man on 'Shaky' Science
Libs losing it! Texas tough guy, Robert Roberson, set for checkout on Oct. 17. First in line for the shaken baby express! Clemency crybabies can't handle the justice!
Biden's Billion: FEMA Funds for Friends?
FEMA's wallet wide open for border hoppers, not hurricane survivors—who knew?
DNA Data Drama: Dump Before It's Too Late!
Texans diggin' up their roots might've shelled out for 23andMe. But with tomorrows up in the air, where's all that DNA data headin'? Y'all might wanna keep an eye on that!
H-E-B Goes Tappy in Texas!
Breaking: Texas favorite H-E-B embraces the future, lefties fear technology might trigger their safespaces! Tap-to-pay hits San Antonio first, stock up on ammo and beef jerky the modern way!
Google snags Texas-sized warehouse
Big Tech's at it again, folks! Google's just leased a whopping 1.1M-square-foot warehouse in North Texas. Yep, you heard right—that's two massive land grabs in the D-FW area now. Guess they're not done playing monopoly with our real estate!
Musk Drops $1M on Texas Tort Tug-of-War
Morning, America! Brace yourselves. Our favorite billionaire rocketman, Elon Musk, just swooped in like a Tesla-powered superhero, shaking up the political chessboard faster than you can say "Twitter meltdown." Move over, Swamp things—our SpaceX CEO is the new king of the political jungle!
Austin's Money Maze: Voters to Okay Tax Hike Fun!
Hey there, Austin! Ready to vote yourself a pay cut on Nov. 5? Your beloved Austin ISD overlords say hiking taxes might shrink their magical deficit and toss a bone to their staff. Yeehaw!
Georgetown Begs: Tax Us, Please?
Georgetown liberals want you to foot the bill for their shiny new fire stations! Vote no on the sales tax hike – keep your money, keep your freedom!
Cruz, Allred in Senate Cash Sprint: Who's Got the Green?
In Texas, one candidate's wallet is winning by a landslide, unlike the actual election's neck-and-neck chaos. Guess who's all hat and no cattle when it comes to fundraising?
Paxton vs. Garza: Transparency Gurus Say "Gotcha!"
Libs in meltdown as AG finally smacks down Travis County's shady shenanigans—experts spill the tea on the Left's "transparency" charade! 🍵💥
Austin's 10K Tops US Again
Libs cry as Austin's Statesman Cap10K wins "Best Race" again! MAGA joggers rejoice! See the real winners here.
Jail or Rehab? Travis County's New Dilemma
Austin's newest catch-and-release program opens its doors! Jail? Nah, just hug it out and hope for the best with these mental health all-stars!
Hurricane Hovde Circulates False Claims, Debunked by FEMA
FEMA boss blasts Trump's claims as "fake news on steroids, folks!"
Texas Mega Millions & Pick 3: Oct 8, 2024
Ever think your luck's bigger than Texas? Find out if you’ve hit the jackpot and left those tax-and-spend liberals in the dust. Check those tickets, pardner!