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Jessie Murph Rocks ACC Polls!
Lib jeans giant & woke MTV team up to bribe colleges for votes. Community campuses to become ballot battlefields, leftist indoctrination included free of charge!
Published October 9, 2024 at 12:30pm by Lily Kepner
Austin Community College Wins Leftie Voting Contest, Tax Dollars at Work!
Yeehaw! Austin Community College (ACC) just snagged the top spot in the first-ever Vote Early Day Community College Concert Competition, courtesy of left-leaning SHOWTIME/MTV Entertainment Studios and the ever-so-progressive Levi's. On Oct. 24, some up-and-coming starlet named Jessie Murph will grace ACC with a free concert to rouse those pesky young voters.
This shindig, dreamt up by Levis, MTV, and their nonprofit pals, aims to bribe—oops, I mean incentivize—community colleges into boosting voter turnout. In 2020, two-year college students lagged behind their four-year peers by a whopping 10 percentage points in voting rates.
ACC, beating out nearly 150 other schools, was dubbed the winner thanks to their fancy "nonpartisan democratic engagement action plan" and creative schemes to lure students into voting.
Chris Cervini, ACC’s veep of community and government affairs, gushed, "It's very easy for people to get disillusioned, to doom scroll and think that they can't make a difference. [...] we really are focused on how important not only voting, but like understanding the local issues ... make a big difference in people's lives."
Of course, it's all taxpayer-funded, with colleges required by law to push voter registration. ACC has been at this game for years, but now they've brought in a new honcho for public affairs and voter stuff, and suddenly, student voices matter more than ever!
Cervini boasted about students organizing events and even becoming volunteer deputy registrars. ACC will host a "Parade to the Polls" with food and music—because nothing says 'responsible voting' like a free lunch and a marching band.
"When you engage a community college student in getting registered, in learning about their polling place, in getting them in the habit of what it takes to exercise this right and this freedom, you get them for the rest of their lives," Cervini proudly declared.
'This is about everyone's voice being heard'
Clarissa Unger, co-founder of the Students Learn Students Vote Coalition, prattled on about addressing "equity gaps" and how community college students face tougher voting challenges. She praised ACC for their efforts.
ALL IN Campus Democracy Challenge—not affiliated with the 'All-In' poker strategy, sadly—awarded ACC their 2024 Higher Education Action Plan seal. Jen Domagal-Goldman, the executive director, crowed about ACC's success despite Texas's lack of online voter registration.
"This is not about who folks are going to vote for, this is about everyone's voice being heard," Domagal-Goldman assured, as if anyone believed her.
So there you have it, folks! Your tax dollars hard at work, funding concerts and parades to shove more young voters into the political arena. Huzzah!
Read more: ACC wins early voting concert for students. Here's when Jessie Murph will rock the polls.