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ACL Weekend 2: In & Out Guide

Better hitch a ride with a buddy or grab an Uber, folks! Parking's as scarce as common sense in DC. Get as close to those gates as you can – don't give those liberal parking cops an inch!

Published October 12, 2024 at 6:04am by Marley Malenfant

Surviving Austin City Limits Music Festival: A Right-Wing Guide

Alright, patriots! You're gearing up for weekend two of the Austin City Limits Music Festival. Here's your no-nonsense guide to getting there and back without losing your mind or your rights.

How to Get to ACL Fest

No liberal public transit here! You've got options, and none of them involve Biden's socialist infrastructure plan.

Rideshares: Type in "Austin City Limits Music Festival" or "Zilker Park" and your Uber driver will get you close. Just don't talk politics unless they start it.
Drive Yourself: Parking's a nightmare, but if you're determined, reserve a spot ahead of time. LAZ Parking at Barton Oaks Plaza is about a mile away for $40 and up. Or try 360 Transportation at 1000 Mopac Circle starting at $50. Austin High School lot starts at $55. Remember, free market rules!
Bikes and Scooters: Pedal power is the ultimate freedom. Lock up on Stratford Drive or Toomey Road, or drop a MetroBike at Barton Springs Road and Sterzing Street.
Shuttle Bus: ACL's offering free shuttles from Republic Square. They'll drop you near the west entrance. Free rides, but don't call it socialism.
Walking: Use those liberty-loving legs! Check out the Ann and Roy Butler Trail map for routes.

How to Leave ACL Fest

Getting out is harder than getting in, thanks to liberal city planning.

Rideshares: Cross the river to request a ride. Expect long waits and surge pricing—blame AOC for that.
Bikes and Scooters: Ride out like a true patriot, if you can find one.
Shuttle Bus: Free ride back to Republic Square, but lines are long. Hold it in, folks.
Walking: Use that trail map and walk off those festival calories.

How to Enter ACL Fest

Three entrances: west and east along Barton Springs Road, and Lady Bird on Stratford Drive. Azie Morton Road's the most crowded, so avoid that liberal nightmare.

Can I Leave and Re-enter?

You betcha! Scan out and scan in, go through security again. Freedom isn't free, folks.

Lost? Check the Map

Don't be a snowflake. Use the official ACL Fest map.

Stay vigilant, patriots! Enjoy the tunes, and remember: this is Texas, not California.

— American-Statesman staff Mars Salazar, Beck Andrew Salgado, and Deborah Sengupta Stith contributed, whether they like it or not.