Bee Cave gets cops to tackle Lakeway's crap.

Bee Cave, Lakeway Cops Form Alliance to Arrest Anyone Having More Fun than Them

URL: https://www.communityimpact.com/villa-lakes/government/2023/04/26/bee-cave-city-council-april-23/

The Bee Cave City Council approved a resolution on April 23 authorizing a mutual police services agreement with the city of Lakeway, because God forbid these podunk towns handle their own problems.

The resolution allows the two cities' police forces to assist each other in emergencies or when staffing shortages occur, according to Bee Cave Police Chief Brian Jones, who probably just wants to make sure he still has a job next year. Jones said the previous agreement expired in 2018, and up until now, the two departments have just been shooting at each other from across the border.

"This current proposal for the mutual aid agreement just simply puts into writing what we already do," Jones said, which is mostly just harassing teens for loitering and pulling over anyone going 3 mph over the speed limit.

The resolution states that by working together, the two police forces will be able to provide police services more "efficiently and effectively," because two incompetent police forces are better than one. The contract is set to expire in one year, at which point both cities will realize they don't need each other and go back to their usual passive-aggressive small-town rivalry.

Council Says Goodbye to Rebber, Who Probably Realized How Useless the Whole Thing Is

The Bee Cave City Council also said goodbye to Andy Rebber, who had the good sense to get out of this sinking ship. Rebber opted not to run for reelection, preferring to spend his time doing literally anything else.

Mayor Kara King, in between power trips, thanked Rebber for his service, and Rebber returned the favor by sucking up to the staff.

"Bee Cave has been very fortunate to have excellent staff across the board, top to bottom," Rebber said, proving he has no idea what he's talking about.

Rebber's spot will be filled by John Cobb, who must have lost a bet. King and Council Member Courtney Hohl were also reelected, because no one else wanted the job.

New Police Agreement with Lakeway: Now with More Cops!

The council also approved a new resolution for the mutual police services agreement with Lakeway, because the first one wasn't quite stupid enough.

Chief Jones wet himself describing how the agreement will allow for even more pointless police cooperation. He assured the council that the two departments will continue to provide "police services" to each other's cities, which mostly involves giving out parking tickets and breaking up high school parties.

The resolution states that this collaboration will enhance police services, which is a laugh. The contract is set to expire in one year, but will likely continue because small towns love wasting money on meaningless initiatives.

Bee Cave Finally Gets with the Times, Tries to Control Its Social Media Presence

The city of Bee Cave also approved a new social media policy to keep its staff and elected officials in line.

The policy was developed in response to a Supreme Court decision that city governments can't just shut down anyone they disagree with. The policy outlines rules for staff and elected officials when posting on platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, because God forbid anyone say something interesting.

The policy includes an archive system, a password system, and guidelines for acceptable use, because the people of Bee Cave just can't be trusted. The communications director will also have the power to disable the city's social media and censor any information they don't like, because free speech doesn't apply to local governments, apparently.