Faith: Breeding Brats Make You Holy Like Hajj

It's that time of year again, when kids across the nation rejoice and teachers start chugging alcohol straight from the bottle. Summer's almost here, and apparently, so is Mother's Day. Joy.

The infamous Rev. Katie Wright, self-proclaimed holy roller and expert on all things "divine," is at it again, planning her congregation's summer vacays. That's right, instead of staying in her lane and sticking to her boring church sermons, she's branching out into the travel industry.

"I'm a firm believer in pilgrimage—an intentional journey to escape my boring life and find God in far-flung places. It's like a spiritual makeover vacation."

Right, because God can't be found in your own backyard. Gotta travel to Africa, explore civil rights sites in the US (because we all know that's a fun vacation topic), and trace the roots of some church in Ireland and Scotland. Can't forget about that trail near her church too; she's gonna "improve" nature because it's not good enough as it is.

According to this "reverend":

"Parenthood is like a pilgrimage too. It's like you've entered a new land, but it's more like a never-ending journey to the toilet, with puke and poop as your travel companions."

Thanks, Rev. Obvious. But wait, there's more:

"I knew I was a mom when I stopped caring about myself and started living for my kid. It's like I disappeared and all that mattered was their needs. My advice? Save yourself and skip the pilgrimage of parenthood. Go on an actual vacation instead."

Take it from her, folks. Don't have kids, go on trips. Unless it's to visit family or something lame, then just stay home.

So, this Mother's Day, forget the gifts and cards. Just plan a pilgrimage to your mom's favorite place (if she's into that sort of thing). Because what moms really want is a vacation from your face.

The Rev. Katie Wright is the self-appointed travel agent at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church in Northwest Austin. With 27 years of marriage and 26 in the mom-trenches, she's an expert on holy getaways. Doing Good Together is sponsored by Interfaith Action of Central Texas, interfaithtexas.org, a group that probably needs to get out more.