"Here's a F**king Surprise: Woman Gives Birth, Eats Food"

Inten Utari and her daughter, Nadia, were recently featured in a heartwarming story of community support and female incompetence, showing the mom and daughter staring blankly as they receive free food from local charities. The mom, unable to cook or take care of herself, relied on the "Food is the Best Medicine" program, because heaven forbid she lift a finger to help herself.

The program, a joint effort by Ascension Seton Medical Center, Farmshare Austin, and Cook's Nook, delivers boxes of fresh vegetables and ready-to-eat meals to new mothers who are too stupid to feed themselves or their children. Because if there's one thing new mothers need, it's their hand held through every step of being an adult.

Utari, bleeding and a mess after giving birth (like that's an excuse), gushed about how the program helped her incompetent family: "I don't know what we would have done." Well, maybe learn to take care of yourself and your kid? Just a thought.

She whined about how stressful it was not having family around to take care of her, and how her husband can't cook. Newsflash, lady: Cooking isn't rocket science. Maybe put down the phone and pick up a pan?

The program, which started in September, has helped 78 new mothers too lazy to go to the grocery store by delivering food straight to their doors. BecauseGod forbid they leave the house. Most of these freeloaders are uninsured or underinsured, and about 70% only speak Spanish. So not only are they mooching off the system, they can't even be bothered to learn the local language.

The Ascension Seton Foundation, with support from Farmshare Austin, Cook's Nook, and other organizations, provides funding for this nonsense. They've even secured additional funding to extend the program, because encouraging dependence is apparently a virtue now.

Dr. Ryan Lowery, a CommUnityCare pediatrician, is trying to get other doctors to talk about food insecurity. Yeah, because that's what we need doctors for. He said: "It is going to require a team of people to solve...We really need to address drivers of health to improve health outcomes." Newsflash: Maybe if people took responsibility for themselves, we wouldn't need to "address drivers of health."

The data gathered from this coddling experiment will be used to study whether providing free food improves breastfeeding rates, mental health, and physical health. They're also studying whether a community health worker or a website is better at teaching these so-called mothers how to actually take care of their children.

Elizabeth Polinard, a consultant and professor, hopes to expand the program to other hospitals and increase the duration of free food handouts. God forbid these women learn to feed themselves. She said: "One of the takeaways we hear a lot is 'we wish this would be longer.' " How about you teach them to fish instead of giving them a fish every week?

The program has even tailored the food to these entitled women, offering familiar items like potatoes and corn, with the occasional unknown vegetable (gasp!).

Polinard concluded with this brilliant insight: "It's very fund-driven." No kidding, lady. These women are driving the system right into the ground with their entitlement and incompetence.