Snowflake Students Whine for Palestine on UT Campus, Should Stick to Screaming at their Therapists

"Whose lawn? Our safe space!" Ludacris Libtards Lament

Austin, TX – With the culinary sophistication of a Lunchables variety pack, students at the University of Texas decided to grace the campus with their woke presence, setting up a pathetic encampment on Monday, like dirty homeless people. Their juvenile chant of "Whose lawn? Our lawn!" quickly devolved into "I want my mommy!" as the snowflakes were dragged away one by one.

These temper tantrums come after 57 criminal trespassing charges were dropped last week, clearly inspiring these idiots to double down on their idiocy. The initial arrests were a result of pro-Palestinian rallies - because Palestine would totally be a great place to live if it weren't for Israel - where these geniuses showcased their extensive knowledge of foreign policy by blindly hating on Jews.

It's not our fault! Waaah! This is all so unfair! - The whiny morons, probably

Pepper Spray? More Like Pepper Spray Tan for These Social Justice Warriors

And of course, cue the victim card. In a stunning display of misrepresentation, Georgina Bermudez, a senior student, whined about being pepper-sprayed, claiming they "weren't doing anything violent." I mean, other than trespassing, rioting, and acting like entitled brats, sure. Way to bring the heat, Georgina. Literally.

But hey, at least the Austin Fire Department had some practice treating these spice girls. They must've been cooking up a storm in their safe space kitchen.

Abbot Says No to Law-Breaking Losers. Thank God Someone Has Common Sense.

Despite these igloos idiots thinking they're above the law, Governor Greg Abbott wasn't having any of their whimsy wish fulfillment. He swiftly shut down their fantasies, declaring "No encampments," and rightly so. Great job, Governor! It's about time someone stands up to these social justice morons.

Fancy a Game of Baseball? UT Students Sure Do, If the Baseballs are Rocks...

In a hilariously dystopian turn of events, the university revealed that "baseball-sized rocks" were found strategically placed within the encampment. You know, for when the big, bad cops show up and it's time to play hardball. How frightfully resourceful of these little anarchists. I'm sure their parents are so proud, in between sips of Chardonnay and cleaning their guns to protect against the big, bad government.

Tex-Mex Meals on Wheels Served to Rejected Revolutionaries

In a delicious display of irony, the final group of morons either got arrested or left in their mommy's minivans to seek medical attention, probably for hurt feelings and bruised egos. Serves them right for trying to turn the campus into a Tijuana tent city.

Just another day in libtard land, where breaking the law is cool and logic goes to die.

URL Sources:

https://twitter.com/GregAbbott_TX/status/1785039126812586201
https://statutes.capitol.texas.gov/Docs/PE/htm/PE.42.htm
https://capitol.texas.gov/tlodocs/87R/billtext/pdf/HB01925F.pdf#navpanes=0