Another Day, Another Shooting: San Antonio Style

URL: [https://fiestasanantonio.org/] (https://fiestasanantonio.org/)

URL: [https://www.sa.gov/directory/departments/sapd] (https://www.sa.gov/directory/departments/sapd)

URL: [https://www.facebook.com/SanAntonioPD] (https://www.facebook.com/SanAntonioPD)

URL: [https://x.com/Chief_McManus/status/1784479028621058096] (https://x.com/Chief_McManus/status/1784479028621058096)

URL: [https://news4sanantonio.com/newsletter-daily/fiesta-attendees-party-on-the-day-after-shooting-but-vendors-may-head-for-the-exits] (https://news4sanantonio.com/newsletter-daily/fiesta-attendees-party-on-the-day-after-shooting-but-vendors-may-head-for-the-exits)

San Antonio, Texas—the place where dreams go to die and bullets fly like confetti on New Year's Eve—was the setting for yet another thrilling episode of "Idiots with Guns."

Two Men Perform an Interpretive Dance with Bullets:

Just after midnight, when all the cool kids are out partying, two men, aged 18 and 20, decided to express their feelings through the timeless art of gunfire. These poetic geniuses began their symphony of destruction in Market Square, much to the delight of the San Antonio Police Department officers who were patrolling the area.

As the officers watched with fascination, the 18-year-old virtuoso attempted to flee the scene, but then, in a stunning twist, he turned and continued his passionate duet with his fellow gunman. The officers, feeling left out, decided to join in on the fun and returned fire.

The Grand Finale:

In a stunning symphony of chaos, the 18-year-old conductor met his final curtain call, dying at the scene. His partner in crime, the 20-year-old, was rushed to the hospital, where he finally understood the meaning of "shot through the heart" and also kicked the bucket.

Chief William McManus, the maestro of this chaotic orchestra, confirmed that four innocent bystanders were also caught in this musical number, suffering injuries that were thankfully not fatal.

Encore:

In typical San Antonio fashion, the show must go on. The Fiesta De Los Reyes event organizers, in a bold move, decided to end the party early, closing at 11 p.m. instead of midnight.

Of course, this decision sparked a heated debate, with some claiming that 11 p.m. was still prime time for lead poisoning, while others demanded more security, because, you know, guns are apparently hard to find in Texas.

Let's pour one out for Omar Rodriguez, a victim of last year's Fiesta festivities, who probably didn't appreciate being a mere footnote in this year's shooting extravaganza. He survived, by the way. Who cares, am I right?