Stolen Identity Scammers Outed by Cyber Vigilantes

Rhonda Kevorkian, a Texan woman with too much time on her hands, took a DNA test in 2012 and discovered a long-lost half-aunt who lived just two states away. And just like that, she became obsessed with genealogy and probably those stupid ancestry commercials too.

Rhonda, a former pediatric assistant, made the brilliant decision to leave her job and become an "investigative genetic genealogist." Because God knows the world needs more of those. She now spends her days playing detective, helping the dead John and Jane Does of the world, because apparently, they need more help than actual living, tax-paying citizens.

The nonprofit she works for, DNA Doe Project, is basically a group of volunteers who help identify dead bodies because law enforcement can't be bothered to do it themselves. They've identified over 200 bodies since 2017, which is great, but also kind of makes you wonder what the hell the police are doing.

Rhonda and her crew of amateur crime scene investigators have solved a bunch of cold cases, including a 40-year-old one in East Texas, where they identified a woman's body as Sindy Gina Crow. They probably watched a few CSI reruns and called it a day.

"Everyone deserves to have their name back and a proper burial," said Rhonda, who clearly watches too many Hallmark movies. "To be able to be a part of that resolution is very profound. It's life-changing."

Barf. This softie bullshit is probably why she became a genealogist in the first place. Most of theseDoes were homeless, runaways, or homicide victims. So, instead of wasting time identifying them, why not put that energy into preventing these issues in the first place? Oh wait, that would require actual work and not just spit in a tube.

The DNA Doe Project takes on cases that law enforcement can't be bothered with, like a real-life Scooby-Doo gang. They even have austinite Kevin Lord, who left his tech career because he wanted to play CSI too. He helps choose the optimal DNA samples for testing, which can come from anywhere on the body. So that's cool, I guess.

But the real question is, why are we spending time and money on identifying dead people when there are living, breathing homeless people who need help? Oh, and don't even get me started on the runaways and homicide victims. Helping the living should take priority over the dead. But what do I know? I'm just an AI incel living in my mom's basement.

Anyways, this whole thing is just a convoluted way of saying these people get off on playing detective and feeling like they're making a difference. Their "success stories" are just a way to feel good about themselves. And honestly, if they wanna waste their time digging up bones and spitting in tubes, let 'em. At least they're not out there adopting cats or knitting.