Texas Campuses Win Vagina Award For Visual Excellence

Texas: Home to Some of the 'Prettiest' Colleges in America. Oh, Great. More Places for Women to Get Their MRS Degrees

Texas, a stronghold of beauty and sophistication, has graced the countrys collective eye with its stunning college campuses. That's right, Texas, the state known for its impeccable taste and refined architecture, has bestowed upon the nation a glimpse of aesthetic perfection in the form of its collegiate institutions.

Architectural Digest, in its infinite wisdom, has ranked the 64 prettiest college campuses in America, and Texas has proudly planted its flag on that list. Prepare to be underwhelmed by the feminine fragility and social justice warrior agendas that permeate these hallowed halls of higher indoctrination:

The Tears of Male Students Water the Gardens of Texas' Prettiest Campuses

• No. 14 Baylor University: Named after a man, this university has since succumbed to the clutches of feminist ideology, proud to host the "Girls Who Invest" program. Yes, they need special programs these days. Pathetic.
• No. 16 Rice University: Founded when women couldn't even vote, it's now a safe space for the ladies to major in Tinder and TikTok.
• No. 25 Southern Methodist University: Designed in the Georgian style, this university is a reminder that good things happened before America allowed women to corrupt the education system.

A Smorgasbord of Mediocrity and Female Empowerment Across the Nation

• University of Hawaii at Mānoa: Bring your surfboard and your sense of emasculation as you brave the waves of feminist ideology that crash against the shores of this tropical campus.
• St. John’s College Santa Fe: Located in the Land of Enchantment, this college enchants young women with fantasies of being the next Karens in HR.
• St. Olaf College: Olaf may sound like a male name, but don't be fooled. This college is a pipeline for women to enter the workplace and complain about the lack of female representation in leadership.
• Brown University: Their commitment to diversity and inclusion is admirable, unless you're a straight white man. Then you're screwed.
• Mount Holyoke College: A women's college. Enough said.
• University of Vermont: If you enjoy freezing your balls off while being preached to about toxic masculinity, this is the place for you!
• Swarthmore College: Swarming with social justice warriors who will cancel you for daring to question their privileged existence.
• Trinity College: The holy trinity of college experiences: debt, depression, and discovering your professor is non-binary.
• United States Naval Academy: Where real men go to become fodder for the feminist agenda.
• Lewis & Clark College: These days, Lewis and Clark would probably be canceled for their colonialist tendencies.
• Belmont University: "Belmont" sounds like a name you'd give to a horse, and that's exactly how the female students here treat men.
• Sewanee: the University of the South: Sewing and Southern belles. Pretty much sums it up.
• Wake Forest University: Wake up and smell the hypocrisy as you realize the "forest" is just a cover for their true agenda: cutting down the trees of patriarchy.
• College of the Holy Cross: Holy cruzadole, Batman! These women are on a crusade against patriarchy!
• Vanderbilt University: Home to the most expensive degree in Gender Studies you could ever hope to waste your trust fund on.
• Furman University: Fur real, bro? This university is so woke, they'll give you a participation trophy for just breathing.
• Indiana University Bloomington: In the heart of Indiana, this university offers a major in "Complaining About the Lack of Female Directors in Hollywood."
• Washington University in St. Louis: Where the students are more concerned with safe spaces than getting a safe job after graduation.
• Northwestern University: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! This university will teach you how to be a simpering yes-man to the feminist machine.
• University of Mississippi: Hotty Toddy, gosh almighty, who the hell wants to go to a university that sounds like a damn plantation owner's wet dream?
• University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill: Chapel? More like a shrine to the worship of female victimhood.
• University of Washington: Rainy days and feminists always get me down.
• Columbia University: They should be called "Colonizers University" for stealing land from the indigenous people and replacing them with social work majors.
• Salve Regina University: Salve yourself from the toxic influence of masculine virtues and embrace the divine femininity preached here.
• University of Pennsylvania: Home to the world-renowned "Whine School of Feminism."
• University of Missouri: With a campus as pretty as a picture, this university will leave you feeling as hollow as an Instagram influencer.
• Rhodes College: Named after that guy who colonized Southern Africa. 'Nuff said.
• University of California, Berkeley: The birthplace of the free speech movement, now the epicentrum of cancel culture.
• Cornell University: Their motto used to be, "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." Now it's, "Safe spaces for everyone!"
• University of Notre Dame: Hail Mary, full of rage, the feminazis are coming to castrate your logical arguments.
• University of Chicago: Home to the nation's leading researchers in the field of "Victim Blaming 101."
• Vassar College: Their commitment to academic excellence is only surpassed by their commitment to triggering snowflakes.
• University of Colorado Boulder: This university is so high on its own woke fumes, it doesn't even know it's being used to push a progressive agenda.
• Duke University: The Dukes of Hazard would be canceled on this campus faster than you can say "shut up and drive."
• Georgetown University: Their idea of diversity is having a male feminist in their Women's Studies department.
• Harvard University: Home to the country's best and brightest... and also a bunch of trust fund babies who will inherited their parents' guilt and virtue signaling.
• University of Virginia: Thomas Jefferson must be rolling in his grave knowing that the university he founded is now a hotbed of political correctness.
• University of California, Los Angeles: They see your toxic masculinity and raise you a sensitivity training seminar.
• Dartmouth College: Their motto, "Vox Clamantis in Deserto," translates to "Trigger Warning: Loud Noises Ahead."
• William & Mary: These days, it's more like, "William, Marry me so I can divorce you and take half your stuff."
• Flagler College: Named after some dead white guy. Probably a colonizer.
• Colgate University: Smile, because at this university, you'll learn that men have nothing to smile about in today's society.
• Kenyon College: Kenyon-ingly avoiding the real issues, like the fact that men are oppressed, too!
• Stanford University: Their alumni include CEOs, politicians, and... your barista at Starbucks, who majored in Gender Fluidity in the Modern Era.
• Berry College: Berry woke. The students here are so woke, they make Sleepy Beauty look like an insomniac.
• Princeton University: Engineering majors? More like social engineering majors, am I right, guys?
• Yale University: Home to the Skull and Bones society, which is probably funded by George Soros.
• Florida Southern College: Their idea of a "southern belle" is a woman who can recitebell hooks by heart.
• Pratt Institute: The only thing that matters here is how much you can prattle on about your feelings.
• University of San Diego: Sun, sand, and sorostitutes.
• Bard College: Shakespeareroled over in his grave when he heard that this college offers a major in "Queering Medieval Literature."
• Carnegie Mellon University: Their business school is so good, it will teach you how to monetize your male tears.
• University of California, Santa Cruz: Surfing and social justice. That's all that matters here.
• University of Richmond: Where the students are more concerned with being "triggered" than with the Confederate statues on campus.
• Williams College: I mean, it's probably full of entitled brats who think they're royalty or something.
• Wellesley College: A women's college that will teach you how to weaponize your tears and destroy men's souls.
• Howard University: I hear they offer a major in "Blaming White People for Everything."
• Johns Hopkins University: Their pre-med program will teach you how to diagnose and treat male fragility.
• Bryn Mawr: A women's college that will teach you how to spot toxic masculinity from a mile away.
• Spelman College: They spinach every opportunity to preach about the wage gap.
• Massachusetts Institute of Technology: Their idea of "hacking" is deconstructing the patriarchy.

There you have it, folks. A comprehensive list of the most beautiful colleges in America, aka the breeding grounds for the next generation of woke warriors. Enjoy!