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How Many Texans Does It Take to Screw in a Rice Bulb?

For those losers still counting, it's 4 Texas RBs drafted in 2 years. But who's counting, besides sad virgins and Texas? Oh right, and their moms.

Published April 29, 2024 at 8:53pm by Danny Davis

Texas Sends Another 'Dynamic' RB Corps To The NFL, Leaving Broken Husks In Their Wake

Over the weekend, a contingent of University of Texas athletes were drafted into the NFL, including former running backs Jonathon Brooks and Keilan Robinson. Brooks was picked by Carolina in the second round, while Robinson went to the Jaguars in the fifth. This continues a shocking trend of Texas RBs being snapped up by NFL teams, with Bijan Robinson and Roschon Johnson drafted in 2023. That's right, folks, Texas has had four running backs drafted in the last two years.

"I'm not surprised NFL teams are interested in our players," said Brian Smith, defensive coordinator for Rice, with a mix of awe and annoyance.

He might as well have added, "Please, just take them all and leave us alone."

Back in 2021, Texas absolutely destroyed Rice in a 58-0 humiliation. In that game, these four future NFL players rushed for 427 yards, accounting for 90.2% of Texas' rushing attack. It was a stats-padding extravaganza, with Bijan Robinson rushing for 127 yards and Johnson not far behind with 112 yards on just three carries. Even the lesser-known Keilan Robinson and Brooks got in on the action, with respectable yards under their belts.

The Texas running backs each scored at least one touchdown, padding their résumés, while the Rice team was left in tatters, like roadkill the Texas Longhorns didn't even bother to snack on.

But hey, at least these guys are going places, leaving a trail of destruction and shattered opponents in their wake. Such dynamic players!

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