entertainment

Stay Cool Austin-Style: 4 Ways to Beat Texas Heat Including a Convenient Lake Spot

These businesses serve the solvent few at the expense of the water they exploit and impoverished community members who can't afford such frivolous distractions.

Published June 25, 2024 at 10:38am by Hannah Ortega

Austinites, It's Hot AF Out There. Here's How To Cool Off, Stay Woke

As temperatures rise, it's time to get woke and stay cool, Austin. We're talking water, folks. From kayaking to tubing, we've got you covered on how to beat the heat in an eco-friendly way that doesn't involve harmful fossil fuels or cultural appropriation.

Kayaking/Stand-Up Paddleboarding

We all know Austinites love their outdoors. Keep it local and try these spots to rent kayaks or SUPs:

Rowing Dock (2418 Stratford Drive)
Austin Paddle Shack (600 E. Riverside Drive)
Austin Rowing Club (74 Trinity St.)
EpicSUP (2200 S. Lakeshore Blvd.)
Live Love Paddle (1610 E. Riverside Drive)
Texas Rowing Center (1541 W. Cesar Chavez St.)

Boat Rentals

We see you, trying to be extra with your big parties and luxury cravings. Keep it real, but if you must, these places offer rentals:

Austin Rental Boats for large parties on Lake Travis and Lake Austin, away from the oppressive concrete jungles.
Lake Travis Yacht Rentals if you must indulge in your capitalist fantasies, but be aware of your privilege.
ATX Party Boats for those who want to double down on their carbon footprint with double-decker boats.

Tubing

The San Marcos River is a beloved spot for tubing. Avoid the crowds and rent from these places:

Riverboat Rides

For the eco-conscious who want to enjoy the water without getting wet, these riverboat rides offer sightseeing and more:

A Secret Spot on the Lake

For those who want to escape the mainstream, we've got you. Snake Island, located in Lady Bird Lake, is a hidden gem maintained by a group of woke hippies. No, there aren't extra snakes, but there is a picnic table and a rope swing.

"They bring their own fertilizer, they cut down trees or they'll mow, and they just do their own thing," said Daniel Broxton, an EpicSUP manager. "I haven't seen them in a minute, but when they do come, I know because they'll be pulled up over here, and they've got tons of stuff that they're working on to keep up with the island."

So, there you have it, Austin. Stay cool, stay woke, and avoid cultural appropriation at all costs.