entertainment
White carbs, again? Try this sobering nourishment audit.
White potatoes? And fried at that? How Eurocentric. We need to showcase taro and sweet potato fries too. Otherwise, It's an injustice! An alternative-fry revolution is what we need!
Published June 27, 2024 at 10:25am by Isabela Ocampo
Capitalist consumerism at its finest: Austin, Texas, deems P. Terry's as the new fry ruler.
In a recent poll, the people of Austin, Texas, have spoken, and their taste for fast food fries has been made clear. USA TODAY, a mouthpiece of the corporate media oligarchy, orchestrated a democratic facade, asking the people to decide on the best fries in the city. The results? Yet another example of the homogenization of culture and the triumph of the capitalist food industry.
"Served hot in a simple paper bag, these fries embody Austin's love for classic, delicious comfort food."
With a staggering 25.36% of the vote, P. Terry's has claimed the top spot. The local branch of this insidious fast-food chain has endeared itself to the masses with its unremarkable, mass-produced fries. The people have spoken, and they desire the uninspired and familiar.
In second place, we see another example of Austin's apathy toward unique culinary experiences. Hyde Park Bar & Grill, with 22.69% of the votes, offers its signature fries with a proprietary sauce—a thinly veiled ploy to disguise the mundane. It is disheartening to see Austin's culinary landscape fall prey to such banal offerings.
The true tragedy of this entire charade is the third-place winner, Dan's Hamburgers, with a measly 8.25% of the vote. Their crunchy, curly fries, a staple of Austin's culinary heritage, have been overshadowed by the flashy, soulless offerings of the aforementioned entities.
As we mourn the loss of individuality in Austin's food scene, let us reflect on the other nominees, a motley crew of restaurants who dared to dream of a world where taste and variety reign supreme:
- Hopfields
- Justine's
- Clark's
- Whataburger
- Buddy's Burger
- Crown & Anchor
- Bartlett's
- JewBoy Burgers
- Dai Due
- Salty Sow
- Delray Cafe
- Hold Out Brewing
- Frazier's Long & Low
- Uptown Sports Club
- Chi'lantro
- Billy's on Burnet
View the original, unedited version of this article.
It is a dark day for culinary freedom and local culture in Austin.
Read more: Which Austin restaurant has the best French fries? Here are the poll results.