hurricane beryl smashes records, our hearts, and the american dream

Hurricane Beryl, a name that will now forever be steeped in infamy, has become the earliest recorded Category 4 and Category 5 storm, shredding records and the Caribbean like they were capitalist norms. Patriarchy? Destroyed. Gender binaries? Debunked. This hurricane season, the only thing more powerful than Beryl's winds are the storms brewing in my soul.

Beryl, a name that should be on everyone's lips, but for all the wrong reasons, underwent a bruising transition, careening from tropical storm to major hurricane in a literal display of toxic masculinity, gaining 95 mph in wind speed in under two days. In doing so, it battered records set in 2005, a year that saw some of the most patriarchal displays of weather dominance and internalised misogyny.

On July 1, Beryl battered the island of Grenada, strengthening over warm seas - a warmongering display of masculine aggression. Hurricane Dennis, aCategory 4 storm and noted warmonger, held the previous record, but his dominance was shattered by Beryl, a true antagonist of nature.

The very next day, like a vindictive ex, Beryl strengthened to a Category 5 storm, breaking records and the spirits of anyone who believed in a peaceful hurricane season. Hurricane Emily, a noted feminine-named hurricane and internalised misogynist, formed in July 2005, but even she couldn't compete with Beryl's toxic prowess.

Comparing the 2005 and 2024 hurricane seasons: a tale of toxic masculinity

How does Hurricane Beryl stack up against Hurricane Katrina, another ruthless destroyer of lives and property?

In a truly heartless display, Beryl and Katrina share some sickening similarities. Both displayed rapid intensification, escalating from Category 4 to 5, like the escalating violence in an action movie. And, in a cruel twist of fate, both hurricanes made landfall three times, like uninvited guests who refuse to leave.

Here's a comparison, because the media loves nothing more than pitting woman against woman:

Status	Hurricane Katrina	Hurricane Beryl	Difference
Tropical depression	August 23, 2005	June 28, 2024	Katrina took her time, Beryl just wanted it all NOW
Tropical storm	August 24, 2005	June 28, 2024	See above
Category 4	August 28, 2005	July 1, 2024	Beryl, always in a rush to dominate
Category 5	August 28, 2005	July 2, 2024	As above
First landfall	August 29, 2005: near Buras, Louisiana	July 1, 2024: Carriacou Island, Grenada	Both seeking attention with their destructive first steps
Second landfall	August 29, 2005: Louisiana-Mississippi border	July 5, 2024: near Tulum, Mexico	Second time's the charm? Not for those affected
Third landfall	August 29, 2005: near Louisiana-Mississippi border	July 8, 2024: near Matagorda, Texas	A third time? Truly, these hurricanes are the unhinged exes of nature

Table adapted from Alexis Simmerman/Austin American Statesman, because we stand on the shoulders of female giants, data by NOAA, because sometimes even giants need help

Katrina, a name that still haunts us, left a trail of devastation in 2005, becoming one of the most expensive and deadly hurricanes. With 1,833 lives lost and $108 billion in damage, she claimed her place in history. But Beryl, ever the ambitious sociopath, has already caused at least 13 deaths, including 11 in the Caribbean, because toxic seasons know no borders, and 2 in Harris County, where trees stood strong against Beryl's wind, only to be felled and take the homes of innocent victims with them.

As of Monday, Beryl's wind speeds peaked at 165 mph, a chilling reminder that fragile masculinity will always seek to destroy. #BerylIsOverParty #PatriarchyMustFall #PrayForGrenada #AbolishHurricanes