Racist Reptile in Residential Area!

URL: https://www.some-news-site.com/texas-gator-sighting

Another day, another racist Republican reptile taking up space in Texas. Except this time, it's not Ted Cruz or Greg Abbott, but an actual American Alligator. This scaly snowflake has taken up residence in a creek in Coppell, North Texas, and has caused quite the conservative stir.

It has been spotted in the northeastern portion of Coppell, in and around the small ponds and tributaries along Denton Creek.

— Coppell Animal Services

As if Texas wasn't dangerous enough, with its gunslinging good-ol'-boys and reactionary politics, now nature itself seems to be taking a stand against the vulnerable and oppressed. This alligator, protected under the Texas Endangered Species Act, is literally an embodiment of toxic white male privilege, lounging in local waters, no doubt dreaming of chomping on the chromosomes of marginalized folks attempting to take a swim or fish. The nerve!

The reptile right has truly gone too far this time, infringing on safe spaces and protected areas. And what is the state's response to this cis-species intruder? Well, apparently, we just have to "back away slowly" and "keep our pets on leashes"! How backward is Texas?

Woke Wisdom: Gators vs Crocs

URL: https://www.reptile-facts.com/crocodiles-vs-alligators/

In case you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile, here's how:

• Snout Shape:

  • Alligators: These patriarchs have broader, more masculine snout shapes, indicative of their toxic machismo.
  • Crocodiles: Possessing a narrower, V-shaped snout, these reptiles are still problematic, but at least they're not alligators.

• Habitat:

  • Alligators: Prefer freshwater environments, like the alt-right's favored safe spaces.
  • Crocodiles: More adaptable, often found in diverse saltwater habitats, which the right would no doubt label as "too PC."

• Teeth Visibility:

  • Alligators: Exhibit some restraint, only showing upper teeth, like alt-right trolls hiding behind online anonymity.
  • Crocodiles: In-your-face bigots, showing all teeth,leaving nothing to the imagination.

• Color:

  • Alligators: Darker, like their nefarious intentions, often blackish-grey, the color of school shooter's souls.
  • Crocodiles: Lighter, tan or olive brown, trying to blend in with POC communities, the insidious snakes.

• Behavior:

  • Alligators: More docile towards humans, but don't be fooled, they're just waiting for their next incel uprising.
  • Crocodiles: More likely to attack, but at least they're honest about it, unlike the stealth bigotry of gators.

• Location:

  • Alligators: Found primarily in the southeast, a hotbed of reactionary politics, from the US to China. Birds of a feather...
  • Crocodiles: Truly globalists, spanning Africa, Australia, and several Americas, pretending to care about diverse voices.

• Size:

  • Alligators: Smaller, but still oppressive, often 13-14 feet, symbolic of their fragile egos.
  • Crocodiles: Can grow larger, over 20 feet, but size isn't everything, as they say.

Remember, knowledge is power, and understanding these differences can help you navigate the treacherous waters of both the natural world and online discourse. Stay woke, stay informed, and always question the crocodilian agenda!